Week of Beatdowns


That’s all I say when I was watching Kansas get that ass torn up against Kentucky. The Wildcats made the Jayhawks look like Tweety Birds. Bill himself “tawt he taw a putty tat” and realized he needed something stronger, after that game was over.

My goodness. You can learn a lot from a blowout, and in what equated to be a glorified McDonald’s All American game, there was so much to watch. Make no mistake about it folks, that was an NBA tryout camp. And if you didn’t go to Duke, Michigan State, Kansas, or Kentucky, then that meant you are not a projected lottery pick.

In a match up of what some call “stacked vs. stacked”, Kentucky’s stacked is significantly bustier. Tuesday night’s game was like watching four Beverly Hills Housewives comparing boob jobs. The rich just get richer.

When the #5 team in the country cannot get within 32 points of the #1 team in the country, it doesn’t bode well for the rest of the field. Coaches, scale back the expectations, dial down the criticism, and just trust the process of learning. Think of yourselves as teachers (but paid really well) and help these young men become better ballplayers and sportsmen.

Use the film sessions as good teaching opportunities, and focus on specific and immediate goals for the season. Develop the chemistry through team building, win your conference, and gain an At Large- Bid for your school. But most of all, just have fun and enjoy the ride……………… because there is no way in hell that John Calipari can mess this up for Kentucky.

It is absolutely crazy how good they are. Calipari is the dude you sometimes play in XBOX who likes to jack with the slider ratings, and create his own players for his favorite team. But Calipari is gangsta with it,

Cuz this ain’t no game. This is real life. Tuesday looked like a Seniors vs. Freshman high school scrimmage. Once again, Kansas is the #5 team in the country. Sometimes the season lines up when you know that it can be anyone’s “chip”, and sometimes you are pretty sure who the top 5 teams are, and out of that pool–it’s anybody’s title. Well last night may as well have been the national title game. Because you can almost put to rest the notion of Kentucky more than three times this year (if at all).

If your goal as college basketball fan is to see your favorite team win it all this year (and that team is not Kentucky), then don’t even bother watching hoops this year. “Ya Playin Ya Self” like Jeru The Damaja says.

If you lived through the 90-91 UNLV, ’91-92 Duke, 92-93 Michigan, 96-98 Kentucky Wildcats, or even arguably the 94 Arkansas era, then you recognize a juggernaut when you see one. Think about every team that I just mentioned, besides the star players can you name more than one of the role or bench players? The scary part of this team is that even their 12th guy could start at any other school in the country.

KU fans can take solace in the fact that this year’s uniforms are sicccckkkkkkkkk. They are so nice.

I like the new modern cut of the sleeves with classic striped trim. The classic lettering and Jayhawk on the belt of the shorts is a nice touch too. Big ups to whoever designed this year’s uniforms.

Also I’m feeling the Sviatoslav Mykhailiuk era. This boy is going to be good. He is going to be the basketball czar of Lawrence when its all said and done. I will be shocked if he doesn’t win a ton of Big-12 award nominations by the end of his hoops career at KU. He may even be “Fred Hoiberg” good. The kid can shoot and was not scared—not even a little bit.

This week saw a lot of blowout games. I realized after my last post that I’d forgotten to include last night’s Portland-Chicago on my list of “Good ASS Games” of the Week. How could I forget about Bulls vs. Blazers game? The match-up that has historically brought us “The Jordan Shrug” and the Bulls-vs-Blazers video game was on I didn’t put it on the list of Good ASS Games? Amateur move right?

Maybe not. Bulls got smacked on which in turn made the Easter Conference 1-11 for the week against Western Conference games. Portland whupped that ass, and I knew that Dallas was going to go HAM on that Lakers defense. Byron Scott’s crew gave up more booty than Kim Khardasian–letting Dallas score 140 Friday night. One Hundred and FORTY POINTS, WHAT THE FUCK???

Even in the 1980’s when teams had trouble playing defense—the slightest move could create a wardrobe malfunction of epic proportions (Why do you think Dyan Cannon has seats so close to the action?)— you rarely saw one team score that many points on the road. 8 Mavericks players scored double figures last night. Crazy.

The best “Good ASS Game of The Week” was the Cavs-Spurs of course. I wasn’t sure what to expect once I read that the Spurs had a four hour flight delay on their way into Cleveland. I feel like that evened the odds a little bit for Wednesday night’s game. To be honest I wasn’t all that impressed with the Cavaliers. Lebron left behind a better supporting cast to baby-sit a bunch of kids in Ohio.

There are some awesome locker room vets on that team with Shawn Marion and Mike Miller, and James Jones. But they are too old to play the kind of minutes the Cavs need. Lebron is already talking about needing less playing time in order to be fresh for the playoffs. Even when they play bad teams they aren’t blowing them out. If Lebron has to laboriously lead them to the playoffs, it will be an early to playoff exit for Lebron and company. Their defense is no where good enough to get them to the promised land.

It was a Good Ass Game though, it felt like a playoff game in its intensity, but the Spurs superior bench was the difference I think. Notice how Ray Allen still hasn’t made his decision on coming back this year? I bet he’s watching the Cavs right now and is like “NAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH”. By the way–how about that Foot Locker commercial with Derrick Rose and Tim Duncan? Brilliant! I stood up and clapped when I saw that thing.

On to the “Good ASS Games” of next Week.

You’re fucking up if you don’t watch that Memphis-Clippers tomorrow night at 6pm ET. This may be the point where Blake Griffin finally tees off on somebody. I’m imagining the horror in his eyes when he gets hyphy with Zach Randolph and then realizes it was the worst mistake he could have ever made. I just don’t know if he is about that life.

Portland-Boston is worth peepin’ with Lillard and Rondo facing off at the point. I’ll probably watch most of this one then flip to the Grizzlies game(which is on at the same time). I could take or leave the rest of the games that night–depends on how bad I’m jonesin’ for some hoop.

This is a trap! Take the night off and do something productive. Read a book, go to an open mic, or baste a turkey, but don’t sit around all night and watch hoop.

Clippers play Charlotte after what will be an emotional night in Memphis. Chris Paul comes home to Carolina, and plays in front of family and MJ. Maybe it will be a good game, maybe CP-3 goes HAM for Thanksgiving Week, but maybe it would be best to do something else. It’s a long season, don’t waste a night on a back-to-back game of middle of the pack teams. But if you don’t have anything better to do, then all means peep game.


Golden-State vs. Miami

I would be way more excited if Lebron were still in Miami. The Heat would be about as good as the Denver Nuggets if they played in the Western Conference. This could be a fun game though and certainly worth checking out at least until Sacramento-New Orleans comes on.


I’ll probably toggle between Washington-Cleveland, and Portland-Charlotte that night. I’m all in on the Mavs-Knicks game. That should be entertaining too. You know Phil Jackson can’t wait to unload J.R. Smith onto some poor sap. My guess is that Phil’s brother-in-law loses a bet to him and has to take on his salary in an uneven trade that gives the Knicks the Lakers’ lottery pick for next year. Speaking of the Lakers, I will definitely tune in to watch the Grizzlies maul them at home. Can’t Wait!!


All food and no games makes Bobby a fat boy. All food and no games makes Bobby fat boy. All food and no games makes Bobby a fat boy.All food and no games makes Bobby a fat boy.All food and no games makes Bobby a fat boy.All food and no games makes Bobby a fat boy.
All food and no games makes Bobby a fat boy.All food and no games makes Bobby a fat boy.

(BLACK) Friday


Chicago-Boston What do you know? Bulls players are getting hurt. Fuck.

Golden State-Charlotte I’m sure there is at least one Davidson alum who will especially interested in this game right?

Dwight Howard-DeAndre Jordan?? It’s gonna be a krunk night in Houston–one thing is certain, this one is sure to be a long ass game.

Dallas-Toronto OooWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Definitely gonna be a good ass game.

How about closing out the night withMemphis-Portland?
We are going to find out just how good these teams really are. I’m excited for the PG and PF match ups– this could be a grimy one. Just warning you.

What better way to finish the weekend but with Spurs-Celtics in an early Sunday afternoon affair. It’s worth it alone for the Rondo vs. Tony Parker match up–two of the illest around.

Houston and Dallas face off tonight. Definitely worth checking out if you got the time.

Hope your Turkey Day is filled with warmth and mirth. I feel for Lakers’ Wayne Ellington who just recently lost his father. It is never easy losing a family member, but having it happen this close to the holidays makes it even tougher. Best wishes for that man and his family.

Happy Thanksgiving to every one out there. We have a lot to be thankful for as Americans. I’m thankful that I had the opportunity to play this.



Damn it! I missed what was probably the “Good Ass Game of the Night” yesterday because I was puking my guts out. I’m not sure what it was I ate on Sunday, but yesterday gave true meaning to having a case of the Mondays. When I wasn’t in the bathroom trying to avoid a hernia, I was passed out cold in bed, listening to Season 2 of David Simon’s Treme (Great show by the way–really underrated) on my laptop.

Boston-Phoenix was the game I really wanted to catch yesterday. Rondo vs. Phoenix’s three headed monster of Isiah Thomas, Goran Dragic and Eric Bledsoe was an intriguing match-up. Rajon is a triple double machine and he still doesn’t really have anyone to play with (sorry Celtics fans—but either build around him or trade him).

I was interested in Dallas-Charlotte also, but looking at the scores, looks like it wasn’t much of a game. The Hornets are a little slow our of the gate. Which is fine for them because they are in the Eastern Conference. Oklahoma City doesn’t have that luxury, and every game without Russ and KD is like watching a snapshot into the franchise’s future.

Thunder fans may find themselves in a world where Steven Adams becomes the face of the franchise. You know who is going to get paid this summer? Reggie Jackson. You know who will not be paying him? The Thunder. I’m wondering what team will sign him as a free agent. He could easily become Bobby Jackson 3.0 if he was of that mentality, but word on the street is that he wants to be a starter, and get paid as a starter. I do wonder how long that post-Westbrrok/Durant swoon will last. Drafting 3 of the top 10 NBA players in a five year span is almost unheard of, and it isn’t like OKC is a destination spot by an means.

Reggie, go to New Orleans and team up with Lil Brow Wow. Young Mr. Davis had another nasty line of 31 points, 11 rebounds, 3 assists, 3 blocks, 3 steals, and 0 turnovers. But as I said before he needs help. Reggie Jackson isn’t the answer at point guard, but he can’t be any worse than what they have already. Last night’s game between Portland and New Orleans was another one I had circled. I caught the tail end of it, but not nearly enough to give some quality analysis. I will say this though, you know you have backcourt problems when Steve Blake is slicing you up.

I watched the 4th qtr of the Bulls-Clippers game last night. This ws the second Bulls game in a week I had caught and man do they look locked in. They have just the right mix of young guys and veterans on that team, and watching them pass is a thing of beauty. What helps the Bulls this year is their depth, and they finally have offensive threats.

Having 3 point shooters is helping them spread the floor like they were not able to do last year. Even when Joakim Noah was killing it last year, it was still difficult to watch them. Every point was a struggle , every game a grind. The Bulls are playing beautiful basketball right now. We’ll see how long it lasts. Coach Thibs has a way of running his teams down before the playoffs start. Let’s see if he can flip the script this year.

Good Ass Games of the Week:

Tonight in the Calipari Classic, “Boogie Down Production” Cousins vs. Lil Brow Wow. A big night for Kentucky fans with this one and the Kentucky vs. Kansas game (probably 12-15 NBA prospects seeing floor time tonight).
While I’m on the subject, I have not been so far down on college hoops in a long time. This year is pretty meh which may be a good thing. It’s hard living a normal life during basketball season.


This may come as a shock to everyone, but the Spurs will go wherever Kawhi takes them this year. When Kawhi is on the court, the Spurs are a different team. He has this subtle way of imposing his will on the game for stretches at a time. His facial expression never changes, but he will suddenly become the fastest player on the court.

To quote a friend, Nothing special. Just “tapping the vein” at this point. There used to be mad debates in Dallas about whether the Mavs should have taken Paul Pierce instead of Dirk. Seems like a silly argument in hindsight, because clearly things worked out the way they should have for both players (and for Dallas and Boston), but in ’98 this was a real sports talk issue.

Why do I feel like Drake and Justin Timberlake will be watching this game in the studio while they cut a “Jay-z eats Fondue” fake diss track? This has the makings of an entertaining game or the Grizzlies may just smother the life out the Raptors and blow them out. I still haven’t watched any Memphis games yet, so this may be the one I actually tune in for. I’m still not on the bandwagon yet, its way too early in the season to crown them champs, but man they really know how to beat up on a team in the playoffs. Who’d have thought it would be not them, but OKC who would get hit with the injury bug this year?


Chicago vs. Sacramento

Clearing the schedule already for this one. No way I’m missing it.


Dallas vs. LAL
The first game can easily be a playoff series come April. I have not had a chance to watch either of these teams play yet, so if I decide not to go out i will certainly tune in for it. I’d be more likely to catch the Lakers vs. Mavericks later that night. Kobe is getting them shots up, and the Lakers keep losing…….

Don’t miss the Kentucky-Kansas game tonight. I’m not sure how good of a game it will be, but if your favorite NBA team is going to be in the lottery, then it may be worth your time.


“A Quick One While He’s Away!”

Yo Peep!

This one is a going to be a real quickie–the Spurs play the Clippers at 9:30. I just finished watching the Cleveland-New Orleans game in which Cavs finally reached .500 for their Win-Loss record. Bron-Bron vs. Lil Brow Wow was all that it was cracked up to be. Lebron put in some work with 32 points, 12 Rebs, and 10 Assists on 9/17 shooting. He had way more help than Anthony Davis–a force of nature (27 points, 14 points, 4 assists,4 steals, and 3 blocks)– with Kyrie Irving (who went HAM down the stretch of 18 points on 18 shots, finishing with 32 points on 21 shots, and 9 assists) and Kevin Love’s very efficient 22 points (7-13 shooting, 6-9 from three pointers).

Besides Ryan Anderson, the Pelicans don’t have anyone. Austin Rivers plays like a Buster! Tryeke Evans is a poor man’s Lance Stephenson. Jrue Holiday is decent, but he probably shouldn’t be starting. Eric Gordon is in the graveyard of players Bill Simmons thought was going to be raw. They suck. It’s depressing to watch them down the stretch of games. FREE ANTHONY DAVIS! Run BROW RUN! Go to New York and play for Phil, or go to Washington and play with KD, but don’t stay in New Orleans longer than this contract. Just ask Kevin Love what happens when you sign an extension with a bad team without doing your homework.

That being said, I’m going to have to watch more of the Pelicans in order to get my Anthony Davis fix. This dude is like Tim Duncan but with handles, and Kobe’s explosiveness.

Speaking of teams I’m going to watch more than I originally expected, I kind of like the Kings. I feel like they are a superstar away from being legitimate playoff contenders. They have a good core of veterans in the locker room with Carl Landry, Ramon Sessions, and Reggie Evans. Enough has been said of the effect this summer had on “Boogie Down Productions.” He has been killing it. I wonder what would have to be done to make a Rondo for Rudy Gay trade work.

Last night’s game between the Suns and Warriors played out as exactly as I figured it would. The game was a sluggish one–the refs threw the game out of rhythm with a high number of whistles early on. The Warriors shot well enough to start, but were spent by the end of the game. You could tell that the back-to-back games had taken away their legs. They were also without Splash Brother Klay who was nursing a sprained wrist. Phoenix ran away with it around the 9 minute mark of the 4th quarter.

Good Ass Games of the week:

Spurs-Clippers in about 15 minutes….hopefully they won’t wear those ugly ass jerseys that were worn on Saturday. Them shits were “muy muy feo!”

Hornets vs. Trailblazers Two nasty backcourts going head-to-head.
Spurs vs. Golden State You know Popovich will be sitting some starters–but at least Kyle Anderson will get some minutes.

Houston vs. Minnesota Wiggins and Zach Lavine make a pact to try to get on the cover of “Slam” Magazine by dunking on Dwight Howard.

Lakers-Pelicans Would have been great to see Randle v.s Davis matchup.
Denver vs. Portland The matchup for nastiest backcourts continues with Wesley Matthews-Damien Lillard vs. Arron AfflaloI-Ty Lawson. If I were a person visiting Colorado for an indefinite amount of time, I know I would be at this game.


Chicago-Toronto Worth checking out for sure. There is a very strong possibility these two teams meet in the Eastern Conference Finals.

“Hey! Hey! It’s the Weekend babayyyyyy!!!” I’ve crossed the threshold now where if a girl ain’t down with hoop, then she ain’t down with me. It’s almost winter time and I’m already prepared to hunker down with some crock pot chili (or pot roast) and geek out on roundball for the next 6 months. There just isn’t enough time in the world for a high maintenance girlfriend and basketball. She be like “Ugh Sports. What’s so great about basketball Bobby?”
and I’ll say ” Look baby if you really want me to pay more attention, learn how to jump 12 feet in the air off one leg and dunk a basketball. Then I’d never take my eyes off you again girl. Can you do that for me? Didn’t think so. Next!”

Charlotte-Phoenix Damn. It gets no easier for Stephenson and Walker this week. Quite the gauntlet for the Charlotte backcourt.

Spurs-Lakers I’m not much into watching ass whuppings, but for some reason it gives me great pleasure to watch the “Lake-Show” go up in flames. It’s like going to a Siegfried and Roy show knowing that someone is going to get eaten. I haven’t been disappointed yet with the Lakers this season.

Minnesota-New Orleans In my best Drake voice, “Anthony Davis!!! A-Wiggins!!!!”

Charlotte-Golden State Damn. No breaks for Charlotte this road trip. At all.
Phoenix vs. Clippers Who does Beige–I mean Blake Griffin punch this night? I’ll give you 2-1 odds on the Morris brothers and 3-1 on p.J. Tucker. This plot alone makes them game a must watch.

Golden State-Lakers Kobe gets hurt trying to keep up with young bucks. I’m guessing its just a hamstring pull. He’ll be day to day for the next 5-7 games.

It’s exactly 9:48 pm and the Spurs-Clippers game is already underway. It’s deep into the first quarter–but you know what? It figures. I’ve never been good at quickies.

Don’t Believe the Hype

You’re going to smell a lot of burning tire from the quick reversal of early season predictions. I still think Minnesota will do better than people think they will, but I must have been on one when I said they would contend for a playoff spot. Out in the west? This is what happens when I quit smoking weed, all logic just goes out the window. This week I’m almost certain the narrative will be “What’s wrong with the Cavs? Will the Cavaliers make the playoffs?” etc. etc. That is the thing about the media, they will create a narrative, then when the reality doesn’t live up to the manufactured product, they flip it.

With a first year NBA head coach in David Blatt, two megastars who have never been to the playoffs, and aging, and very thin bench, the hype was a little swollen. Now people are jumping off a bandwagon they should have probably never jumped on. It’s the first full week of the season folks Ya’ll needs to chilllllll. The Cavaliers will be fine, they need time to gel, make another move or two, and they play out in the East. There is nothing to worry about.

Now if I were OKC, I would be a little concerned. I initially thought that this early adversity would be good for the role players so they would learn how to play without their superstars. But as Zach Lowe pointed out in his column today (this is before Perry Jones III got hurt tonight), a slow start could impede this team winning the 49 games it usually takes to get an 8th seed into the Western Conference playoffs.

I have not been able to watch as much hoops as I hoped this past week and a half, but I’m scaling it back like Little Dragon. By next week I’ll be okay.

I completely missed the Cavs get beaten by the Trailblazers. My evening nap ran long and woke up in time to watch the last 8 minutes of the Lakers-Suns game. Phoenix is really fun to watch. They play fast and loose and aggressive defense. They have at least 4-5 highlight plays from that team. More on them later. Watching the Lakers lose is always fun, and watching Kobe just chuck it up is equally entertaining. The Kobe fans get what they want and Lakers haters get what they have wanted to see for years. Everyone wins.

Good Ass Game of the Week:

Golden State vs. Phoenix this Sunday. This is one of those games that I’ll hate myself forever if I don’t catch it. Believe me when I tell you this is gonna be a GOOD ASS game.

Other games

(could be ugly with both teams coming off of a back to back)

Memphis-Phoenix (Memphis had tonight off and the Suns just played an intense game out in Los Angeles. Might not be pretty.)

Another candidate for GOOD ASS Game of the Week right here with Clippers-Warriors on Wednesday night.

San Antonio-Houston (I imagine my Rockets friends and Spurs friends will have a good time with this possible playoff preview)

Dallas-Portland will be fun for sure. Dirk vs. LaMarcus was a great match-up last year.

Washington-Toronto will be a good way to unwind after the work week. I may even have a beer while I watch.

Portland-Clippers, Golden State-Houston, and New Orleans-San Antonio on Saturday night. Watching Anthony Davis match up with Tim Duncan is a treat for the ages. NBA past against NBA future. Imagine if Anthony Davis is lucky enough to play with some champions on his team. That guy is quickly becoming a top 5 player.

Actually I change my mind, Wednesday is going to be the GOOD ASS GAME of the WEEK. Golden State-Phoenix is on the back end of a back-to-back.