Clicks to Pick Week of 12/26/16

[Editor’s note: We’re pleased to announce that Bobby Mickey is a free and unharmed man and will be returning to the United States. We called in some favors and did some things we legally can’t talk about, but our boy will be coming home soon. Next week you folks will get a legit Bobby Mickey article. We hope its a good ass one. Happy New Year.]


No Good Ass Games scheduled


Utah at Los Angeles Lakers


Sacramento at Portland


Boston at Cleveland

Philadelphia at Utah


Portland at San Antonio

Los Angeles Clippers at Houston

Milwaukee at Minnesota



Los Angeles Clippers at Oklahoma City


Portland and Minnesota

San Antonio at Atlanta

Clicks to Pick Dec. 19-24

[Editors note: We’ve just received a ransom note from Bermuda demanding 100,000 dollars (HA! Good Luck with that kidnappers) for Bobby Mickey’s return. We’re doing our best at the Fullsass office to round up that kind of money up so close to the holiday season. We will continue to give you the Clicks to Pick during his absence–in addition to old pieces he sent in that have yet to be published. We hope the year 2017 brings with it a safe and healthy Bobby Mickey. Happy Holidays.]


This Week’s Clicks to Pick


Phoenix at Minnesota




San Antonio at Houston

Los Angeles Lakers at Charlotte

Utah at Golden State

Cleveland at Milwaukee

Portland at Sacramento




Dallas at Portland

Sacramento at Utah



Los Angeles Lakers at Miami

San Antonio at Los Angeles Clippers


Sacramento at Minnesota


No Games Scheduled


Sunday (Christmas Day)

Golden State at Cleveland (Good Ass Game Of The Week)



Clicks to Pick Dec. 12-18 [Updated]

This week’s Click’s to Pick are brought to you by Aaron Ross from the Portland late night talk show, “Who’s the Ross?” Bmick returns from Bermuda next week (we hope) to bring you the column in its regular format.

With Xmas around the corner, this week’s Clicks to Pick are rated as classic children’s presents you may have found under the tree, back in the day.


POR @ LACNBA LIVE 2016: We’ve played this game before… It’s not as much fun to play as the new version, but it’s familiar, and we keep coming back to it.

Can the ‘Zers avenge an early season beat down? Probably not. Do the slumping Clips need any more motivation than last year’s injury plagued 1st rd exit? Definitely not.  

  Even though this season is only entering the 2nd quarter, a win here would be huge for the Blazers, who have been viciously spanked by contenders this year, while another home loss for Doc, Son, & Co. could turn into the kind of finger-pointing that would signal an early demise for these “so called contenders.”

LAL @ SACEASY BAKE OVEN: You won’t play with this toy next year (Boogie will be gone), but with a stroke of luck, and Mom’s helping hand (Luke Walton), you might walk away with a tasty treat (or it’ll taste like garbage, and you’ll be asking yourself why did you waste your time?).


OKC @ ZERS (GOOD ASS GAME OF THE WEEK) – YOUR FIRST BASKETBALL: The gift that keeps on giving, which you will use for years to come (until you leave it at the gym, someone else takes it, and your pissed-off parents won’t buy you a new one).

I’m a Blazers homer, so no surprise they dominate my Clicks to Pick. But there are four great reasons to watch this game:

  1. It features two of the most exciting point guards in the league, in their prime.
  2. The New O will be going for his 9th triple double in a row. (yes, the streak will still be alive) {Edit: It ended on Sunday against the Boston Celtics.}
  3. Last year, “Dame Time” became a national catchphrase when Lillard ethered OKC with 17 pts in the final 3 mins of a Jan. game at the Rose Garden, and don’t think Russ doesn’t want to duplicate this nuclear explosion, one year later.  
  4. The Blazers will be coming off another beat down to the Clip Show, and in desperate need of a home win, less than 24 hours later.


 BOS @ SA – SOCKS: Socks are the worst gift you can receive as a youth. (unless you’re a teenage Bobby Mickey, then you fill them shits right up! Skeet Skeet Skeet!) But as an adult, they are not only sensible, but can definitely add to your style game (I match my socks with my dress shirts and/or neckties *wink*).

 These aren’t the boring Spurs of you grew up with, but they’re not the most intriguing team in the league either…unless you’re a bball junky, then the ball movement, defensive close-outs, and Pops grouchy demeanor make you harder than Bobby Mickey peepin’ a primetime thigh after a long night of grading papers (ZING x 2!!).

 Facing the Eastern Conference’s best “other” team, this would be the 2017 Finals matchup if LeBron & Steph pulled an MJ and left the game at their peak–giving someone else a chance for a couple of years. But just to be clear, SA is only a smidge under GSW’s power ranking, whereas BOS is in a second tier, far below them. However, Beantown Brad’s Boys have the ability to beat an elite team on any given night (just not in a 7 game series). Is this that night? It’s possible. San Antonio has not been impenetrable at home this season, and Pop recently ripped his squad for their lack of effort.


CHI @ MILPLAYBOY MAGAZINE vs BRAZZERS SUBSCRIPTION – First off, no kid ever received these filthy-ass XXXmas presents…we stole ‘em! Secondly, there’s no reason to buy Playboy in 2016. But if you’re from my generation, there’s something refreshing about the tangible nature of a porno mag, plus the articles are pretty great. We’re talking knowledge & experience vs. balls out and…well, BALLS OUT! (set amongst the finest knockers in the game)

2016 Bulls, 2013 Nets, 2011 Celtics, 1997 Rockets. See the trend? Talent, experience, too late, nice try. WHO’S NEXT???

2015 Thunder, 1996 Magic, 1990’s Seattle Mariners. TALENT! TALENT! TALENT! WE NEXT! Will it gel? Probably not. But for a couple of years, it’ll be fun to watch, and that’s enough, especially coming from the Bucks, who’d be praising all major deities if they make it out the first round.


LAL @ PHI (GOOD ASS GAME OF THE WEAK) CHIA PET: Waiting…waiting…waiting. Will it ever grow? Why isn’t anything happening??? Oh shit! It’s hurt again?!? Wait…is it actually starting to grow, now?!? Holy shit, if this keeps up, it will be beautiful! Buuuuuuuuuut, it’ll probably end up failing in the long run.  

A year ago, these teams were helpless busters! Shit, a month ago, these teams were helpless busters. But all of a sudden Luke’s Lil’ Lakers & The Process are two of the most intriguing teams in the league. With Kobe out the picture, these young guns have been let loose, and EMBIID! EMBIID! EMBIID! has reminded us that a Big Man with ACTUAL POST MOVES is not a myth! This game means nothing in the now, and these teams may never materialize, but at least it will be fun to watch.

ZERS @ GSWPOWER WHEELS vs A REMOTE CONTROLLED CAR: One is fully powered, the other is a smaller imitator that can’t keep up.

A year ago, I thought the Blazers nailed the Golden State formula, and were on their way to being a young, shoot the lights out, run & gun, small ball team that was one piece away from turning the corner to being an elite team.
I was wrong. They are AT LEAST one piece away from being a top-tier team, and moving to the next level may involve trading a key piece (CJ). These boys need defense, and a real inside presence to make it out the first round, and that ain’t coming this year, unless Neil Olshey makes some magic happen before the trade deadline (which I don’t see him doing).


LAKERS @ CAVS (TRAP GAME OF THE WEEK) 3-D PUZZLE: At first you’re a little disappointed you got a fuckin’ puzzle, but once you start putting it together, it’s way more exciting than you anticipated.

Last time the Baby Lake Show was on the road against the league’s best team, they smoked ‘em like Gouda, sausage, or the sweetest Oregon sticky icky. This is the type of game young, hungry, well-coached teams surprise you with, and I see the Lakers coming out on top against a Cavs team thinking ahead to an Xmas Day matchup with their only real competition in the league.


NO @ SAENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA: When unwrapped, no one wants this present. Whether it was hardback, CD-ROM, or however a kid receives an encyclopedia nowadays (I assume it’d be like donating to Wikipedia on a child’s behalf, which is corny as fuck! (although I may pull that move for a little bastard down the road, just cause).  But down the road, you will retain the knowledge you received from the encyclopedia, and while you may not fondly reflect on where it came from, it will be beneficial to your growth as a Bball fan.

The game’s best big man, backed by the worst “others” in the league play the team that ALWAYS has the best “others.” Take note Pelicans: if you wanna keep the Brow Down, you need to figure out how to build a team around him, and we all know you can’t spell TEAM without San Antonio!

image1   AARON ROSS is the host/head-writer of “WHO’S the ROSS?” – Portland’s weekly late-night talk show. You can catch him at Dante’s every Tuesday night, right down the street from Voodoo Donuts and the spot where Ndamukong Suh had that car wreck. 

The Teen Wolves Take Manhattan

I got chills walking up 8th avenue, and it wasn’t from the wind tunnels created by the Manhattan skyscrapers. Midtown was lit up with lights, traffic, and people; and Madison Square Garden was draped in a uniformly Knickerbocker blue and orange. Rightly or wrongly, New York City has been widely regarded as the “Mecca of basketball” and it would be disingenuous of me to write a book about basketball without attending a Knicks game.

Madison Square Garden has had its share of historical events. Moments from the 94 NHL Finals commemorate and decorate the arena walls. The once mighty Big East capped every regular season with a conference tournament; providing countless college basketball memories that held as much desperate intensity as the NCAA tournament. It never dawned on me that events like George Harrison’s Concert For Bangladesh, or the famed 9/11 music benefit took place at MSG.

The Garden’s luxurious and clean interior  (and ticket prices) evokes the decor of a high-end hotel. I did not see one piece of litter on its grounds (inside or out) and the staff was extremely courteous and polite. From a visual aspect, there is not a bad seat in the building, however; the seating areas are super cramped. There is zero leg room and I had no where to even put my jacket and notebook.  Lack of comfort aside; my seats were fine (I was fortuitously sandwiched between two attractive women–one an older Italian and the other a younger Eastern European) and I could see the whole court from the 200 level.

New Yorkers are not an easily impressed lot, so it was no surprise that the player introductions were such an elaborate production. A Knicks game is no different from any event you’ll see on Broadway. I can imagine the Knicks’ marketing department faces a pressure that can only be matched in cities like Chicago, Miami, and  Los Angeles where the game is only part of the entertainment package.

I’ve never attended an NBA game where the team was so generous with their team swag. They must’ve busted out the  T-shirt cannons every other full timeout. It was like they couldn’t give those t-shirts away fast enough. “You get a t-shirt! You get a t-shirt! YOU get a t-shirt!” It was kinda fun.

I especially liked the reoccurring Celebrity Row bit that happened at every timeout. This particular Friday night was a bit celebrity starved because they best “celebs” they could find were former Giants punter Sean Landetta (who got the second loudest applause), actors Ansel Elgert and Juan long,  Larry Wilmore, and Joe Budden (who got the loudest applause).

There was even a program on a Jumbotron where you could see who’d be performing during each timeout. I’d seen the Knicks City Dancers on television, but they were even more mesmerizing to watch in person. The dance choreographer put together some great numbers that were executed to perfection. I couldn’t help but think that having Knicks Dancer/choreographer on one’s resume has a certain cache attached to it (which then made me wonder if being an  In Living Color Fly Girl was something you did right before becoming a Laker cheerleader or vice versa but I digress). As of today, I will anoint the KCD’s as the best dance team in the NBA.

My only complaint was the halftime “entertainment” of musician Theo Katzman and his equally boring bandmates. Katzman’s uncle must have greased Knicks owner James Dolan’s palms, because I don’t see how someone could have sat through an audition by Theo without recognizing its  wackness. I took the opportunity to walk the arena concourse during his set.


The game itself was fun. Minnesota was in town and they have a few interesting players, but their roster shows very little direction as to what their goals are for the team. There were a ton of people ready to pencil them in for that 8th seed in the west just because the team had hired Tom Thibodeau. People are looking for all sort of excuse for why Minnesota isn’t playing well. My opinion is that Thibs was a bad fit and the team just isn’t that good.

I gotta say, I’m still not sold on coach Thibs as a head coach. It feels like he didn’t learn a thing from his stint in Chicago, and I’m worried that his style will grind down the bodies of  Andrew Wiggins, Karl Anthony-Towns, and company the same way he did to the Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah, and Luol Deng Bulls teams (look at the time on the clock during this infamous ACL injury).

For some reason, no one batted an eye when Timberwolves owner gave Thibodeau boatloads of money to be a head coach and GM (pretty sure Jeff Van Gundy, a proven teacher and ambassador for the sport, was available), even though he’s never had any front office experience. Now if a player has a problem with Thibs the coach, they  have to deal with Thibs the GM to resolve it. This misfire by Taylor may set the Timberwolves franchise back 3-5 years and undo all the progress that Flip Saunders worked so hard to create within the organization.

I can’t imagine going to work and having to hear his voice and see his face for the majority of the day. The guy barks non-stop and he has the perpetual expression of someone who hasn’t had a bowel movement in so long that their colon leapt into their upper stomach and just stayed there. He probably belongs in the college game as a head coach–though I wouldn’t send my kid to go to his school and be yelled at by him.

Minnesota needs to figure out what they want to do going forward. Zach Lavine is showing some promise, but he relies too much on his (erratic) 3 point shooting, and his decision-making is questionable at best (the only player he creates shots for is himself). It was smart to put Lavine at shooting guard position because he doesn’t have to facilitate the offense– but he isn’t that great of a shooter yet. I was big on him getting traded until I noticed his 2.24 million dollar salary– a steal for a player with his athleticism.

The biggest problem is that Minnesota has no veteran role players who can contribute on a larger scale. That is fine if they want to do just develop the young guys they already have, but to hear the way Thibs screams at them, you would think they wanna make a run at the playoffs. If that is indeed the case, they will need to make a trade (and that may not even be enough to make the top 8 in the west).

Ricky Rubio clearly needs out of Minneapolis, and Minnesota needs to move on from the Spanish point guard. Its been seven years since the 2009 draft and it is time to recognize Rubio for the kind of player he really is. He is Rajon Rondo light. He plays decent defense and is a good distributor, but he still can’t shoot, and he doesn’t finish at the rim consistently. I think the Timberwolves should see if Philly will bite on a trade for Nerlens Noel (a defensive big who doesn’t need to score), Ersan Iylasova, and Gerald Henderson. Maybe it takes Minnesota throwing in Brandon Rush and Jordan Hill (and a draft pick swap) to make it work, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

At this point they need to see if Kris Dunn can play or not (He has a Chauncey Billups kind of swag about him–he has played okay in what little run he has gotten and he seems to be soaking in all the lessons the league has to offer a rookie) , and why waste a year with him on the bench, if  the team won’t make the playoffs anyway? If they don’t trade Rubio and he walks away for nothing, then they start next year with the same questions at the PG position possibly wasting another year from your superstar player’s careers. A Rubio trade would benefit both parties, T-Wolves get something in return and Rubio gets out of town. If he doesn’t like where he ends up, he can just play the year out before signing with Golden State next season as Steph Curry’s backup (imagine them on the court at the same time late in quarters).

The next 10 games for Minnesota may decide if they make a trade, or stand pat with what they have. If they go less than .500 over the next couple of weeks, you will probably see a deal made. Either way, it is already clear to me that they don’t have the horses to make a playoff run, and I doubt even a trade would be enough to make it a reality. I think every move made by the coach/front office should be made with next year in mind. Unfortunately I suspect that this collection of young talent will go the way of the “3 J’s” Dallas Mavericks and the 2011-2013 “RunOKC” Thunder.


The Knickerbockers have not made much progress from last season to this season. The Knicks won the game despite having poor floor spacing, terrible ball movement, and more bad shots than good shots. They have an okay nucleus of players that are just enough to get butts in the seats, but offensively they are an eyesore. I kept looking over in Phil Jackson’s direction trying to guess what he thought of such a putrid display.

I’m surprised Jeff Hornacek hasn’t explored the possibility of a Brandon Jennings and Derrick Rose backcourt. The team looked much better offensively when Jennings (who is a really fun player to watch in person) was on the floor, as he is a better shooter and distributor than (the not as explosive as he used to be) Rose; whose jump shot is still broke.

For all the crap that critics like to give Phil Jackson, the current personnel of this team may be best suited for the Triangle. Running P/R plays for Derrick Rose and Carmelo Anthony may work, but it doesn’t mean its the best option. This team has no clearly defined identity and the Triangle may be the best remedy for such an assortment of good, but not great players. My biggest disappointment from the game I attended was that Jeff Hornacek let the players like Kyle O’ Quinn and Brandon Jennings cool down on the bench after having really productive first halves. Jennings never got back in rhythm but O’Quinn managed to come back in at the right time and give the Knicks what they needed to win the game by grabbing timely rebounds and making big shots.

When I first sat down to my seat, I was concerned that the crowd would be your typical NBA crowd in a tourist city. For many fanbases, the diehard fans  get priced out of games, and this affects the fervency of the atmosphere. In other words, I though the crowd was lame. But then something happened, every time there was a hustle play, or the Knicks managed to get a 50-50 ball, or a big defensive stop, the crowd would roar in a way I’d only seen at Kansas Jayhawks home games. The fans cheered excitedly when they were supposed to and occasionally got super loud.

The familiar chants of “DEFENSE” in unison with the house organ took me back to the 90’s when I was a kid watching Knicks games on television. It gave me goosebumps. It sucks that they are so bad, because Knicks fans deserve a winning team and the NBA is a better league when the Knicks are relevant.

Win or lose, New York City fans really care about their teams (well maybe not the Nets, but I think they should be moved to Seattle). Knicks fans were constantly trolling anyone who made the mistake of wearing their Timberwolves gear (the best insult I heard was “your mother is a really nice woman………but your grandmother is a filthy whore.” This was a TIMBERWOLVES game!!).

As crass as they can be, I enjoy their passion and enthusiasm. Attending Knicks and Mets games have provided me with the type of special experiences that I haven’t felt in many places here in the U.S.A. (I’m convinced that New York is the last American city that I can see myself living) There is an authenticity to the NYC sporting events that is unique to only NYC. You never forget where you are the whole time you are at the Garden. It is one of the few arenas left in the league where the event itself takes a backseat to the arena.


 profile pic b mick  Bobby Mickey is the alter ego of writer and poet Edward Austin Robertson. When he isn’t involved in some basketball related activity, actively looking for parties to deejay or venues to perform comedy, he can be found recording podcasts with Craig Stein at FullsassStudios. Follow him on twitter @clickpicka79. For booking inquiries, send contact info to

Clicks to Pick Week of Dec. 5th

With Bobby Mickey still on vacation in Bermuda, This A Good Ass Game brings you a rotating cast of guest Picks to Click. Bmick will be back next week (hopefully) to bring you the column in its regular format.

Clicks to Picks WEEK 12-5-16 to 12-9-16



Start your week out right. Start your week off with the King. LeBron and the Cleveland LeBrons make a trip up to Toronto to play against DeMar “I Live In The Midrange” DeRozan and some other losers who can’t keep up with LeBron. Look for Kevin Love to BEAST on Pascal Siakam. And Kyrie will break Kyle Lowry’s ankles at least twice.


Given that I’m a Blazers fan, I gotta recommend watching the Blazers at the Bulls. Chicago has been surprisingly impressive to me, which I didn’t expect. At some point, Rondo/Wade/Butler will implode and SOUND THE ALARM… I’m calling it to happen against the Blazers tonight! Damian “The George Hill of Rapping” Lillard is gonna torch Rondo, C.J. will have a breakout on the tired knees of the hometown hero Wade, and Allen Crabbe is gonna prove he should be starting. Mark my words.



This is the only game that deserves your attention tonight, even if you’re a diehard of any teams playing outside of the “Arena Wally Szczerbiak Built”. LaMarcus Aldridge will officially be passed as the preeminent Power Forward in the NBA by Karl Anthony Towns (if he hasn’t already, and lemme tell you, it is damn close right now in November). Andrew “Drake Mentioned Me In A Song” Wiggins vs Kawhi “I’m Quiet And Only Listen To 90s R&B” Leonard could be a really fun head to head match up for the next decade. Who knows, it could start tonight!



What better way to celebrate Pearl Harbor Day than seeing Dame and C.J. drop from long range on the Bucks? Giannis “Can I Buy A Vowel” Antetokounmpo should be able to feast on the free range, gluten free Portland defense. The Blazers can’t stop big men, so Greg Monroe will look like Lew Alcindor against the front court of Plumlee/Leonard/Davis. We know who teams are at this point in the season. Will the Blazers be legit, or Coach Kidd show us last season’s overachieving was a Northwest fluke?


Whenever the NBA’s best player gets an opportunity to play at the Mecca (Madison Square Garden) it’s appointment viewing. Kristaps “No, Mr. Bond, I Expect You To Die” Porzingis is ready for prime time and will show up and show off against Tristan “Khloe Totally Isn’t OJ’s Daughter” Thompson, and I’m calling for an upset. Knicks beat Cavs on route to gelling in the Hornacek led version of the triangle where they’re destined to lose in the first round in 5 against Toronto.

GSW at LAC (Good Ass Game of the Week)

The league’s best talent versus the league’s biggest phonies. If you’re not sick and tired of the Clippers by now, you are somehow; some way, a fan of this godforsaken group of  Susan Lucci’s. As much as I love Charles Barkley, who always mentions the Clips as a team who can beat the Dubs, he’s gonna have to either dead that talk or pray DeAndre “I Wear More Dresses On TV More Than I Make Free Throws” Jordan and Blake “Let Me Tell You About How I’ve Done Improv” Griffin punish the Warriors bigmen. Also, when are you gonna have a chance to see a game where only dunks and threes are made is an actual scenario that could happen?



You’re reading that correctly. Being the follower of NBA Twitter and podcasts that I am, I’m all in Joel “I Never Weighed 300 Pounds” Embiid. Embiid vs Anthony “More Brow Than Upper Body Strength” Davis could be really fun to watch. Embiid was the best player in college basketball during his one year at Kansas and is putting is crazy numbers now even under his minutes restriction. The NBA ebbs and flows. It was all about small ball, but with the amount of talented big men (Towns, Porzingis, Embiid, Davis, Randle, Turner, etc) we might be heading back to post moves rule everything around me. If we are, this game will be a sign of things to come.


Two good teams playing in a good basketball city, this should be fun. Kawhi “I Only Say Please And Thank You” Leonard is gonna continue his MVP caliber run, but the thing to watch out here for is Rajon “I’ll Call You A Gay Slur If We Can’t Play Connect Four” Rondo. Rondo famously balls harder in nationally televised games, and he SHOULD be able to get the best of Tony Parker and Patty Mills. The performances will be prettier than the game, but it’s gonna be fun.



The battle for the second seed in the East! Can the C’s live up to the expectations that signing Al “My Eyes Are As Pretty As My Jumper” Horford brought on? Probably? I’m not actually sure. The Celtics kinda reek of great but not championship level great. As good as their coaching and guard play has been and will be, they’re still a pretender. If they want to make a believer out of me (which they should because I’m cool)this is gonna be where it needs to happen. Beat a good team and maybe I’ll start drinking the spiked Kool Aid.


I’m a Celtics fan and Blazers fan, but I’ll tell you what… I like this Laker team! D’Angelo “CCTV” Russell has been balling, Brandon “I Make Durant’s Body Look Like Eddy Curry” Ingram can shoot, and the rest of the Lottery All Stars have been a fun, run and gun team who are well coached and likable. Maybe it’s just that Kobe is gone, but maybe, just maybe, they’re actually a good team who are entertaining to watch? It could be interesting to see how the celebrity fan Laker faithful  take to a team that isn’t great but has an upside. Will Jack Nicholson want to watch millennials who know him best as the guy from sitting courtside during the last Laker title instead of the guy from “The Bucket List”? Find out at Staples tonight!

Saturday, December 10th

No good ass games scheduled.


Sunday Dec. 11th

No good ass games scheduled.


image1-7  Jordan Paladino is a Portland comedian, internet troll, rapper, and writer for the show “Who’s the Ross?” He is a staunch defender of all things Lebron James, Drake, and Kanye West. He is also a KD hater. We try not to hold these things against him.