Clicks to Pick Dec. 12-18 [Updated]

This week’s Click’s to Pick are brought to you by Aaron Ross from the Portland late night talk show, “Who’s the Ross?” Bmick returns from Bermuda next week (we hope) to bring you the column in its regular format.

With Xmas around the corner, this week’s Clicks to Pick are rated as classic children’s presents you may have found under the tree, back in the day.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 12

POR @ LACNBA LIVE 2016: We’ve played this game before… It’s not as much fun to play as the new version, but it’s familiar, and we keep coming back to it.

Can the ‘Zers avenge an early season beat down? Probably not. Do the slumping Clips need any more motivation than last year’s injury plagued 1st rd exit? Definitely not.  

  Even though this season is only entering the 2nd quarter, a win here would be huge for the Blazers, who have been viciously spanked by contenders this year, while another home loss for Doc, Son, & Co. could turn into the kind of finger-pointing that would signal an early demise for these “so called contenders.”

LAL @ SACEASY BAKE OVEN: You won’t play with this toy next year (Boogie will be gone), but with a stroke of luck, and Mom’s helping hand (Luke Walton), you might walk away with a tasty treat (or it’ll taste like garbage, and you’ll be asking yourself why did you waste your time?).

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13

OKC @ ZERS (GOOD ASS GAME OF THE WEEK) – YOUR FIRST BASKETBALL: The gift that keeps on giving, which you will use for years to come (until you leave it at the gym, someone else takes it, and your pissed-off parents won’t buy you a new one).

I’m a Blazers homer, so no surprise they dominate my Clicks to Pick. But there are four great reasons to watch this game:

  1. It features two of the most exciting point guards in the league, in their prime.
  2. The New O will be going for his 9th triple double in a row. (yes, the streak will still be alive) {Edit: It ended on Sunday against the Boston Celtics.}
  3. Last year, “Dame Time” became a national catchphrase when Lillard ethered OKC with 17 pts in the final 3 mins of a Jan. game at the Rose Garden, and don’t think Russ doesn’t want to duplicate this nuclear explosion, one year later.  
  4. The Blazers will be coming off another beat down to the Clip Show, and in desperate need of a home win, less than 24 hours later.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14

 BOS @ SA – SOCKS: Socks are the worst gift you can receive as a youth. (unless you’re a teenage Bobby Mickey, then you fill them shits right up! Skeet Skeet Skeet!) But as an adult, they are not only sensible, but can definitely add to your style game (I match my socks with my dress shirts and/or neckties *wink*).

 These aren’t the boring Spurs of you grew up with, but they’re not the most intriguing team in the league either…unless you’re a bball junky, then the ball movement, defensive close-outs, and Pops grouchy demeanor make you harder than Bobby Mickey peepin’ a primetime thigh after a long night of grading papers (ZING x 2!!).

 Facing the Eastern Conference’s best “other” team, this would be the 2017 Finals matchup if LeBron & Steph pulled an MJ and left the game at their peak–giving someone else a chance for a couple of years. But just to be clear, SA is only a smidge under GSW’s power ranking, whereas BOS is in a second tier, far below them. However, Beantown Brad’s Boys have the ability to beat an elite team on any given night (just not in a 7 game series). Is this that night? It’s possible. San Antonio has not been impenetrable at home this season, and Pop recently ripped his squad for their lack of effort.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15

CHI @ MILPLAYBOY MAGAZINE vs BRAZZERS SUBSCRIPTION – First off, no kid ever received these filthy-ass XXXmas presents…we stole ‘em! Secondly, there’s no reason to buy Playboy in 2016. But if you’re from my generation, there’s something refreshing about the tangible nature of a porno mag, plus the articles are pretty great. We’re talking knowledge & experience vs. balls out and…well, BALLS OUT! (set amongst the finest knockers in the game)

2016 Bulls, 2013 Nets, 2011 Celtics, 1997 Rockets. See the trend? Talent, experience, too late, nice try. WHO’S NEXT???

2015 Thunder, 1996 Magic, 1990’s Seattle Mariners. TALENT! TALENT! TALENT! WE NEXT! Will it gel? Probably not. But for a couple of years, it’ll be fun to watch, and that’s enough, especially coming from the Bucks, who’d be praising all major deities if they make it out the first round.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16

LAL @ PHI (GOOD ASS GAME OF THE WEAK) CHIA PET: Waiting…waiting…waiting. Will it ever grow? Why isn’t anything happening??? Oh shit! It’s hurt again?!? Wait…is it actually starting to grow, now?!? Holy shit, if this keeps up, it will be beautiful! Buuuuuuuuuut, it’ll probably end up failing in the long run.  

A year ago, these teams were helpless busters! Shit, a month ago, these teams were helpless busters. But all of a sudden Luke’s Lil’ Lakers & The Process are two of the most intriguing teams in the league. With Kobe out the picture, these young guns have been let loose, and EMBIID! EMBIID! EMBIID! has reminded us that a Big Man with ACTUAL POST MOVES is not a myth! This game means nothing in the now, and these teams may never materialize, but at least it will be fun to watch.

ZERS @ GSWPOWER WHEELS vs A REMOTE CONTROLLED CAR: One is fully powered, the other is a smaller imitator that can’t keep up.

A year ago, I thought the Blazers nailed the Golden State formula, and were on their way to being a young, shoot the lights out, run & gun, small ball team that was one piece away from turning the corner to being an elite team.
I was wrong. They are AT LEAST one piece away from being a top-tier team, and moving to the next level may involve trading a key piece (CJ). These boys need defense, and a real inside presence to make it out the first round, and that ain’t coming this year, unless Neil Olshey makes some magic happen before the trade deadline (which I don’t see him doing).

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17

LAKERS @ CAVS (TRAP GAME OF THE WEEK) 3-D PUZZLE: At first you’re a little disappointed you got a fuckin’ puzzle, but once you start putting it together, it’s way more exciting than you anticipated.

Last time the Baby Lake Show was on the road against the league’s best team, they smoked ‘em like Gouda, sausage, or the sweetest Oregon sticky icky. This is the type of game young, hungry, well-coached teams surprise you with, and I see the Lakers coming out on top against a Cavs team thinking ahead to an Xmas Day matchup with their only real competition in the league.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18

NO @ SAENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA: When unwrapped, no one wants this present. Whether it was hardback, CD-ROM, or however a kid receives an encyclopedia nowadays (I assume it’d be like donating to Wikipedia on a child’s behalf, which is corny as fuck! (although I may pull that move for a little bastard down the road, just cause).  But down the road, you will retain the knowledge you received from the encyclopedia, and while you may not fondly reflect on where it came from, it will be beneficial to your growth as a Bball fan.

The game’s best big man, backed by the worst “others” in the league play the team that ALWAYS has the best “others.” Take note Pelicans: if you wanna keep the Brow Down, you need to figure out how to build a team around him, and we all know you can’t spell TEAM without San Antonio!

image1   AARON ROSS is the host/head-writer of “WHO’S the ROSS?” – Portland’s weekly late-night talk show. You can catch him at Dante’s every Tuesday night, right down the street from Voodoo Donuts and the spot where Ndamukong Suh had that car wreck. 

All Quiet On The Western Conference Front Pt.2

I wasn’t expecting much activity this trading deadline, but things were noticably dull this year as the clock struck 3pm on the east coast. Jeff Green going to the Clippers (oh word????) and Channing Frye to the Clebrons were the biggest items of note. I like the Frye pick up for Cleveland. Frye is a decent stretch 4, but I can’t figure out for the life of me why he relocated to Orlando.

Maybe the chance to make all those monies in a tax-free state was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Who am I to judge? I moved to Oklahoma for the chance to make way less than that. At least he can go to DisneyWorld whenever he wants. My biggest thrill is leaving the state every two weeks.

Nevertheless, that sounds like a good set up for both Frye and the Cavs. I haven’t seen Frye play since he left Phoenix, but he can’t have regressed that much in a season and a half can he? I’m sure he’ll get the hell out of town the minute the season ends. I can’t imagine staying in Cleveland during the summer when you have a sweet pad in a place like Portland.

I’m not as high on Jeff Green unfortunately. He’s a decent defender, and can score occasionally, but I doubt he makes much of a difference on that Clippers team. By the way, Austin Rivers (who is hurt) and Pablo Prigioni are the two backup guards for that team right now. I just wanna know who’ll get fired first, Doc the GM or Doc the head coach.

Since there wasn’t too much player movement via trade, let’s see whose contracts get bought out in the next week or so. I hear David Lee is about to become Raef LaFrentz 2.0 when he clears waivers and signs with the Mavericks. I’m kind of into it.

Rumor also has it that Joe Johnson wants to get bought out, but his desire for a multi year extension is going hamper his chances of landing on a good team. Am I the only one who thinks Joe Johnson doesn’t give a shit about winning?

The dude has already signed two max contracts in his career. How much money does he need and what does he need it for? Maybe he is trying to help pay for Kanye’s 53 million dollar debt.

On to this week’s slate of good ass games:

Monday

 

 

Toronto-New York

My pick to click for Monday night even though the Knicks have been trending downwardly lately. Toronto may be the only team that can give the Clebrons a run for their money come playoff time.

Boston-Minnesota

This will be a competitive game. I’m not sure how entertaining it will be. Both teams can be a tough watch if you catch them on the wrong night.

Golden State-Atlanta

Last this year this was one of the Good Ass Games of the year. Atlanta has been pretty meh of late though. Regardless, its always a basketball clinic when the Warriors lace ’em up.

 

“Tap That Vein” Tuesday

 

 

Denver vs. Sacramento

“Our state got the best weed in the country.”

“No OUR state  got the best weed in the country!”

“Oh yeah? Well prove it.”

[produces a lighter and puts flame to a pre-rolled doobie]

“Wait what were we talking about again?”

This is one of those “League Pass and Chill” kinds of games. You can invite someone over and watch it or not watch it. And if you end up missing it, guess what? You watch it on archive the next day.

 

Wednesday

 

Golden State-Miami

I just want to see if Hassan will be able to play this time. He put up 25 points, 23 rebounds last night, but Wednesday may be “Dray Day

Toronto-Minnesota

The Rookies vs Sophomores game redux. Their last matchup did not disappoint.

Oklahoma City-Dallas

Speaking of trending downwards…….both of these teams have a couple of busters on their teams. Dion Waiters has been playing even shittier than usual, and I’m officially not a fan of Chandler Parsons. I have been on the fence about Gram’s nephew for quite a while, but this season has helped me make up my mind about him. But I will say this, the first time they played was a good ass mutha#@$%ing game.

San Antonio-Sacramento

My favorite team vs. my surrogate team. No doubt I’ll be watching this one.

 

Thursday

 

Golden State-Orlando

Two good ass backcourts squaring off. I think the Magic will keep it close for exactly one half.

San Antonio-Utah

Utah is the perfect place for Gordon Heyward to land–especially coming from a school like Butler. Talk about an easy transition. Homie goes from a small mostly white school in a small all white town to an all white state that feels like a small all white town. And now he’s got his homie Shelvin Mack on his side again. Those Butler squads were fun for a mintue eh?

 

Houston-Portland

Someone on Friday coined the term “Damegry” and I immediately hit  retweet. If he continues to get slighted like this, he’ll end up in the Hall of Fame. I knew the game on Friday with the Dubs would be a blowout, but not like that (I had the Warriors winning of course). Dame was on fire. The whole team played well, and they have been playing well of late; winning 13 of the last 16 games they have played. Dame and C.J.  are averaging 45.3 points a game this year. I fux pretty heavily with the PDX.

 

Friday

 

Orlando-New York, Cleveland-Toronto, Denver-Dallas, and Los Angeles Clippers-Sacramento

All of these games will be good, but I would recommend you do something else. Take your sweetie out to dinner, go see a movie, or a gallery opening. Cash in on date night another time. It won’t be worth it this evening trust me.

 

Saturday Night Fights

 

Oklahoma City vs. Golden State (Good Ass Game of the Week)

Did you see the way Oklahoma City got that head beat in this afternoon? Besides KD and Russ, who else on that team can you count on every night? They could have traded for Pau with some kind of package. I would be a fool to say this team is bad, because they aren’t, but this team is what I call “Oklahoma good”.

This is a term I reserve for things in this state that in a vacuum are not bad, but compared to things in other states, they fall short. This includes barbecue, Mexican food, football, and basketball. A ten rating in Oklahoma is equivalent to an 8 rating in Texas (And no I’ve never used  this rating system to rate women………..well okay maybe I have, but that’s another story for another day).

 

Sunday

 

Minnesota-Dallas

It’s games like this where League Pass pisses me off. You know how hard it is trying to find a clear streaming game on sites like “Milf Hunter” and “VIP Box”???  #Lisforlocalblackouts

Portland-Indiana

Monta ball vs. Dame Dolla.

Charlotte-Atlanta

I love both of these cities. I could see myself living in Charlotte under the right circumstances. Atlanta is a little too big for me, but if TNT ever came a calling, I’d make that move. I’m hoping that I can catch a game next year in Charlotte then hit Tobacco Road for a game in Durham, then a game in Chapel Hill. Anyway, this might be a decent ass game if you give it a chance.

 

Anyway, that’s all I got. I’m bout  to throw on that Utah-Portland game. From what I’m seeing on twitter, its a #goodassgame.

 

Peace,

BM

#fullsass #thisagoodassgame

@clickpick79

thisagoodassgame@gmail.com