Delayed Gratification

Before we get into this year’s highly anticipated NBA Finals. I’d like to give a shout out to the Boston Celtics and San Antonio for having successful seasons. Although I think the Celtics didn’t work hard enough to get Demarcus Cousins or Jimmy Butler on the team this year, I’m not so sure that would have been worth two more wins in this year’s conference finals. I am curious if they are going to run it back with the addition of another young lottery pick are trade their number one pick for some vet pieces to help Isaiah Thomas and Al Horford. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say they overachieved this year with their current roster. Whatever Danny Ainge decides to do this off-season, it will be tough to mess this off-season up for the Celtics. They have a lot of good options.

The Spurs will have a challenging off-season themselves, as there are a few questions that must be answered for them to sustain their run of excellence for the next few seasons. Though it seems like Dejounte Murray is poised to be the point guard of the future, I think it would behoove the Spurs to sign a veteran to serve as a bridge for Murray era. There are a number of free agent point guards the Spurs could sign on the cheap who could help mentor the young prodigy as he grows into his role as a floor leader. I personally am rooting for a George Hill/Gregg Popovich reunion next season.

Jonathan Simmons may have played his last game in a Spurs uniform, as his payday is right down the road waiting for him once the free agency period starts. He is a restricted free agent, but if a team offers him a ton of money to go play for them, San Antonio might let him walk. This would be unfortunate because I’ve been one of Juice Man’s biggest fans and I’d love to see him back on the team. For what’s out there at the wing position, he could turn out to be a good investment.

I would be surprised if Patty Mills plays for the team next year. He is an unrestricted free agent and some marginal team is probably going to be foolish enough to drop some major dough on a player who isn’t good enough to be a starting point guard for a contending team. Kawhi’s injury in Game 1 last round turned the conference finals into a pre season tryouts. Spurs players were just playing for their jobs after it was clear they were not going to advance.

Looking down the road, the Spurs are going to need some young front court players as Lamarcus Aldridge and Pau Gasol are clearly on the wrong side of their careers and can’t be depended on to carry a team if Leonard was unavailable for some reason. Kyle Anderson hasn’t improved all that much since he first got into the league three years ago, and it may be time to start looking for Danny Green’s eventual replacement. Green does some things well (like stopping 3-on-1 fast breaks)  and some things not so well (like dribbling). He is like that boyfriend some women have that does just enough to get dumped. She doesn’t break up with him, but she thinks about it seriously at least once every 3 months. 4 years later, both parties are wondering where this thing is going.

Outside of Kawhi and Murray, there are a lot of questions to be answered this off-season. A lot of critics think this is beginning of the end of the Spurs dynasty, but I think this is just a transition period. Either way, this off season will be the critical point we look back on five years from now when accessing the prime of Kawhi Leonard’s career.

 

FINALS PREDICTIONS

You must excuse me if I seem bored with the Cavs-Warriors threematch, but at this point it seems pretty anti-climatic. Besides the first 30 minutes of game 1 of Spurs-Warriors, there has been little doubt who would be in the NBA Finals. Neither team was tested on their way to the final round, and there was a part of me that was disappointed that Cleveland dropped a game against Boston. It would have been cool to see both teams head into the Finals 12-0. Alas, this is the best the 2017 season could give to us fans.

3 Keys to the series:

Draymond Green/ Andre Iguodala vs. Lebron

Lebron is going to get his no matter what, but Green and Iggy are going to have to figure out a way to slow him down, make him work for points, and not get into foul trouble. Refs tend to swallow their whistles when Lebron creates contact by dipping his shoulders into people’s chest and using his off-hand to push into guys. If there is a foul called, it’s usually on the defensive player somehow. Rasheed Wallace put it best when he said, “These guys (Kobe, Shaq, Lebron) are supposed to be the best right? So why do they need more help if they are so good?” That is exactly why I @bucks with Sheed even if he is fibbing about making up the phrase “Ball Don’t Lie”.

Role Players

We haven’t seen this kind of star power on both Finals teams since the 2013 and 2014 Spurs-Heat matchups, and before that, the Celtics-Lakers rivalry in the 80’s. However, anyone who knows anything about NBA basketball knows that its the how role players play that will determine who wins these playoff games.

It isn’t crazy to expect big numbers from Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, and Steph Curry, but you never know what you are going to get from Kevin Love and Klay Thompson on the offensive end (although both can easily put up 40 points in the blink of the eye). The difference between the two players is that Love is an average defender at best, while Thompson is the best defensive 2 guard in the league. To think that both players are afterthoughts shows you how good both teams are.

Look for the Kardashian curse to rear its ugly head this series as Tristan Thompson should have a big series against this thin front court of Golden State–but he won’t. I can’t ever quantify these suspicions with anything but intuition, but wasn’t I right about James Harden swoon last year because he was dating Khloe? I’m just saying.

Golden State has the better bench of the two teams with guys like Javale McGee, Shaun Livingston, Andre Iguodala all making important contributions with the second unit. Ian Clark and Patrick McCaw can be counted on to steal some minutes at the guard spots. Don’t forget that Mike Brown (?) can always count on David West or Matt Barnes to provide some toughness whenever that is needed.

The Cavaliers have a lot of washed dudes coming off the bench, like old ass Kyle Korver, Deron Williams, Richard Jefferson, and Derrick Williams.

Defense

For all the talk about their offense, Warriors had one of the best defenses in the NBA this year. The Cavaliers? Not so much. There was even a time period where their defensive rating was 30th in the league. They haven’t exactly faced any offensive juggernauts this post season, so people have been tricked into thinking that they “flipped that switch.”

The Warriors are phenomenal at finding the “mouse in the house” and exposing it again and again. Outside of Tristan Thompson, Lebron James, and sometimes Iman Shumpert, is there anyone on that Cleveland roster that will scare the Warriors? J.R. Smith can bring it on  occasion, but he can just as easily space out at anytime. The rest of the team is compiled of average defenders. The Spurs were a top 5 team in defense and you saw what happened to them, and before you say “but Kawhi Leonard was hurt” please realize that it would have taken EVERYTHING to go right for the Spurs to even have a chance at winning last round.

People tend to think this has the makings of a classic, but I don’t see it. Star power aside for Cleveland, they are ill-equipped to deal with one of the best offenses in NBA history. Warriors in five, and the only reason I’m not predicting a sweep is out of respect to Lebron. I may sound as crazy as I did when I said the Spurs would beat Golden State last round, but you saw what happened that first 30 minutes before Kawhi got hurt (like what I did right there?). There could have been a number of reasons why San Antonio was dominating before that take down by Zaza, but before that infamous play, I wasn’t looking so crazy now was I? If both teams remain healthy the entire series, the Warriors will clinch it five games and it may not even be that close. And oh yeah, Draymond Green is going to win the Finals MVP, just like I predicted in the season preview.

Have a good week.

 

BM

 

profile pic b mick  Bobby Mickey is the alter ego of writer and poet Edward Austin Robertson. When he isn’t involved in some basketball related activity, actively looking for parties to deejay or venues to perform comedy, he can be found recording podcasts with Craig Stein at Fullsass Studios. Follow him on twitter @clickpicka79. For booking inquiries, send contact info to thisagoodassgame@gmail.com. 

 

House Money (Tried to Told Ya’ll)

Didn’t I tell you the Rockets were busters? Didn’t I tell you that James Harden’s game is all smoke and mirrors? Didn’t I tell you that Tony Parker’s injury would be a blessing in disguise? I love to troll as much as the next man, but I don’t just be saying shit to hear myself talk. Ya’ll gon learn to start listening to me. As my dude Bomani Jones is fond of saying, “Listen to me now. Believe me later on.”

We got a game 7 in Boston on Monday between the Wizards and the Celtics. I would be shocked if the Celtics lose this game at home. Role players tend to not show up in elimination games on the road. John Wall and Bradley Beal are going to need help if they are going to advance to the next round. I’ll definitely be tuning in because a) its Monday and I don’t have anything better to do, and b) its game 7.  You really find out what these players are made of during the pressure packed situations. I love elimination games. Whoever wins this series will be lucky to get two wins against the Cavaliers.

 

The Warriors vs. Spurs Western Conference Finals may as well be the NBA Finals. Barring major injury to key contributors, whoever comes out of this round should be the clear-cut favorites against the Lebrons. People think this is dissing Lebron, but the beauty of basketball is that your weaknesses will get exposed. Everything comes out in the wash when you cut corners in hoop.

Cleveland has yet to play an offensively competent team in the playoffs and that trend will continue until they face the Warriors or Spurs. Cleveland statistically had one of the worst regular season defensive statistics of all the playoff teams. Luckily for the Cavs, playing in the east and having Lebron can cover up a lot of ugly blemishes. Lebron is like the most effective IG filter for any NBA team.

He has proved from time to time that he can drag the worst four scrubs ever assembled and still take them to the NBA Finals. Mad respect given, but to win in pro basketball the other players–four to nine–have to play well. You can’t convince me that the Warriors and Spurs aren’t stocked with superior role players in comparison to the Cavaliers. Go look it up if you don’t believe me, and after you do, I want you to make a list of all the players on Cleveland’s roster not named Lebron or Tristan who can defend their position well.

Bringing it back to this series for a second, the only chance that the Spurs has is through in-game adjustments and timely substitutions. Jonathan Simmons has proven he belongs on the court, and Gregg Popovich will have no choice but to give Dejounte Murray some run against the tall guards of Golden State.

Throw out what happened in the regular season, as these are two different teams from what you saw before April began. The biggest problem the Spurs face is the incredible amount of length and quickness they have to throw at San Antonio. Matt Barnes, Andre Iguodala, and Shaun Livingston all can come off the bench and disrupt an offense with their defensive versatility.

Spurs can take advantage of their mismatch in the paint with Pau Gasol and Lamarcus Aldridge if they can somehow get the ball across the court, and keep their entry passes from getting intercepted or tipped away (thus creating transition opportunities for the Warriors and igniting their offense). Spurs fans know that David West isn’t the defender he once was, but look for Javale McGee to continue to impact the game with his presence in the paint, rebounding, and athleticism.

The play of Patty Mills, Manu Ginobili, Kyle Anderson, Jonathan Simmons and Dejounte Murray–San Antonio’s ballhandlers not named Kawhi– will determine if these games are close nail biter endings or blowout losses. If the Spurs can slow the tempo down, attack the paint, and get Kevin Durant and Draymond Green in foul trouble, this could be a troublesome affair for the Warriors.

On defense, the Spurs will have to run the Warriors off the three-point line and control the boards. The Warriors feast off of open threes and transition points, so it will be important for San Antonio to not hoist jump shots early in the shot clock, and not turn the ball over.

Lebron couldn’t beat the Warriors by himself in 2015, so don’t expect a hobbled Kawhi Leonard to carry the San Antonio to finals alone. Aldridge and Gasol are going to have to chip in on the boards and points in the paint . I’m not sure what we can realistically expect David Lee and Dewayne Dedmon to contribute. Dedmon (with his stone hands) has played himself into Pop’s doghouse and Lee had serious issues on defense last round. If Dedmon can’t catch passes, then he will need to play smart defense and rebound to stay on the court. Lee could be a good piece on the offensive end, but better believe that the Warriors will go at him when he gets back on D. Golden State loves finding the mismatches and attacking it. #mouseinthehouse

This may sound obvious, but the Spurs will have to play their best team ball of the season to even have a chance at winning this series. By Game 4, both coaching staffs will have a clear idea on which lineups and matchups work most effectively, and the real chess game will begin. Popovich has to use all his chess pieces effectively in order to advance to the NBA Finals, so keep an eye on the role players in this series.

The margin of error is very small, and though San Antonio has proven they are talented and fearless, the biggest hurdle they will face is a mental one.The discipline and focus that it takes to beat these Warriors four times in seven games is what will determine who wins. The Spurs must stick to their game plan, value every possession, and take smart shots. The Warriors will penalize them on the other end every time they turn the ball over, take a bad shot, or forget how to set screens and make the extra pass.

At this point, San Antonio is playing with house money. Having won 60 plus wins and advanced to the Western Conference Finals only a year removed from Tim Duncan’s retirement, this season is already a success for them. They are also huge underdogs. They will be facing tremendously less pressure than veteran players like Zaza Pachulia, Matt Barnes, Javale McGee, Kevin Durant, and David West (who knows how many seasons he has left in him). Pressure does funny things to people, don’t discount that element this round.

As much as I want to say Spurs in six games, there are just too many unknowns. I still can’t pick them to——— nah you know what? Fuck it. Spurs in six. I’m putting 100 dollars on San Antonio and in a week and a half, I’m collecting 900 dollars. If you like watching exceptional basketball execution, then I suggest that you watch every minute of this series. Get your bets in before 2:00 pm today because Los Spurs are going to shock the world!

Buen Provecho

 

BM

profile pic b mick  Bobby Mickey is the alter ego of writer and poet Edward Austin Robertson. When he isn’t involved in some basketball related activity, actively looking for parties to deejay or venues to perform comedy, he can be found recording podcasts with Craig Stein at Fullsass Studios. Follow him on twitter @clickpicka79. For booking inquiries, send contact info to thisagoodassgame@gmail.com. 

Where Have All The Tough Guys Gone?

The deeper the NBA goes into the playoffs, the more chirping you see from guys. Dudes start bumping their gums and folks get their feelings hurt, and that is when dudes wanna scrap. Things get chippy, and that is when the bitch made dudes get separated from the tough guys. Labels like “Fake Tuff Guy” get thrown around as folks get exposed for having no heart.

You’ve probably seen the “Kelly on Kelly” feud happening out on the east coast, and Kevin Durant telling the Utah mascot to “get the fuck off the court” is still fresh on people’s minds (a mere five minutes after doing Judo drills with Jazz center Rudy Gobert). I probably heard the “Fake Tuff Guy” take on Durant no less than ten times between last Saturday night and Monday evening.

Part of me agrees that KD is doing a little too much “extra”. I get it though. He’s feeling like Pac after he moved back to the west after signing with Death Row Records. Oakland has a swag about it that is hard not to adopt when you move there. You feel it in the air. You feel it in the street. You feel it when you put your hoodie on and you walk outside your door.

Is he doing too much? He probably is. “Fake Tuff Guy” though? I’m not ready to say all that. Homie grew up in the DMV, (PG County no less). I’ve driven through that area and its nothing nice. Even if he isn’t physically tough like say, a Charles Oakley; you don’t make it out of the environment KD is from by being mentally weak.

I think its important to delineate the different degrees of toughness that you see in the NBA. I respect the fight of little guys like Isaiah  Thomas and Allen Iverson just as much as someone with the physical strength of Goliath. Tough guys like Shaq and Kenyon Martin both played like complete dickheads from time to time–their behavior sometimes even bordered on bullying.

Think about it this way: there is being physically tough because you are bigger than everyone and no one in their right mind would fuck with you. But there are also those players who despite lacking in size, but played with a high pain threshold (#Kobe Tough). Sometimes being tough simply means growing up in a tough neighborhood and either fighting your way through the environment, or somehow sidestepping all the pitfalls that befall a lot of young people in that environment.

Being mentally tough is having the discipline to avoid being on the wrong block, or at the wrong party with the wrong people. You can’t make it out of the neighborhoods that people like Allen Iverson or Kevin Durant escaped by being “soft”. It’s almost disrespectful to suggest that they are.

Conversely, just because a person had a privileged upbringing with very little to worry about but school and basketball, that they are soft. Some of the toughest dudes I’ve ever  met– white, black or whatever–were guys who grew up comfortably, but their “Pops” was on their asses relentlessly to keep them from growing to be a candy ass.

As with any population, the NBA is a very diverse place. The league is full of guys with varying personalities who come from different backgrounds. I’ve put together Bobby Mickey’s tough guy spectrum” which allows us a wider range of freedom to classify who is tough and who is a “cupcake.” I’ve broken NBA players down into four main categories.

 

“You Better Check Your Tone ” Guys

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“I’m not a player I just crush a lot.”

~Big Pun

Let’s start at the top of the NBA food chain with the tough guys. These are the guys no one in their right mind would fuck with. To give you some context, think about when Ron Artest and Ben Wallace got tangled up in Detroit back in the 2004 melee. Artest is a bad dude who could play through crippling migraines and put up a 30 and 20 stat line. He grew up in Queensbridge . But he did not want anything to do with a fight with Ben Wallace, arguably the strongest man in the NBA at the time. This goes to show you that even at the top of the pyramid there is an order.

Unless a player is prepared to fight to the death, he should not pick a fight with Marcus Smart, Zach Randolph, Robin Lopez (don’t laugh I’ve heard enough rumors to be convinced that he’s crazy), Gerald Henderson (who I used to think was a fake tuff guy but I suspect he’s got hands), Matt Barnes (again, crazy), Marcin Gortat (dude looks like he could be in the Polish Mob),  David West, P.J. Tucker, Demar Derozoan   Boban Marjonovic,  Aryon Baynes, Steven Adams, The Morris twins, Metta World Peace (A.K.A. the aforementioned Ron Artest),  Udonis Haslem, Zaza Pachulia, Raymond Felton, Thomas Robinson, Demarcus Cousins, Nene (though you might get lucky and he gets injured and has to stop the fight) Tony Allen, Nikola Jokic (and that goes for any Eastern European, or anyone from Albania, the Ukraine, Serbia, or Georgia, those guys have seen some real shit) Domantas Sabonis (do you know who his dad is?) or Jusef Nurkic. Shout outs to CHARLES OAKLEY for still displaying that old man strength when James Dolan’s goons got in his face at MSG earlier this season.

 

The Silent Assassin 

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“Don’t pull the thang out, unless you plan to bang”

~Outkast

Don’t let the smiles fool you. These guys will fuck a dude up on general principle. They may be some of the chillest dudes on the team, but watch how quickly things go left when they feel disrespected. These guys come in different statures and sizes, but they are generally pretty down to earth, gregarious, and pleasant. They may not be physically imposing by conventional standards, but this particular kind of tough guys carries a quiet confidence.

They respect the seriousness of conflict and aren’t afraid to take it there, but they also understand that doing so can have immediate and serious consequences. Examples of this guy currently playing in the NBA are Taureen Prince, Davis Bertans (don’t sleep on them Latvians), Harrison Barnes (built like a brickhouse, and also made the Sweethearts list, but he seems like the kind of guy who once he finally got mad would go nuclear), Lebron James (he may be whiny but she is still 6’8 and strong as fuck), Avery Bradley (dude is too quiet), Dion Waiters (He and Kobe Bryant saw two different sides of Philadelphia. Don’t fall for the goofy stuff), Lance Stephenson, who people think is a joke because he has a screw loose and hams it up (don’t forget he still is from Brooklyn, and not the Gelato, fixed gear part of Brooklyn) Kemba Walker, (The last of the New York City Point Guard legends) Serge Ibaka (you see that punch he threw at Robin Lopez?), Shaun “people think we soft cuz we light-skinned” Livingston, Tarik Black, Marc Gasol, Brandon Rush and Chris “Birdman” Anderson (who people sleep on, but he looks “Get into a shootout at the Twin Peaks in Waco” crazy). 

 

Fake Tough Guys

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“You ain’t a crook son. You’s just a shook one.”

~Mobb Deep

These guys are quick to get in other dudes faces, but they not tryna fight. The league fines are too stiff, and the last time an NBA player physically hit someone in the face, that  player broke their hand and missed a significant portion of the season. You’ll see these guys start something, and do a little bit of yelling at each other, until someone breaks it up because everyone knows that no one is fighting. Stock examples of this guy are:

J.R. Smith, Blake Griffin, Kevin Durant, Dahntay Jones (who would have been someone’s bitch in the 80’s and 90’s NBA), Russell Westbrook (you’ve seen the shit that he wears to the arena. Bruh is a bigger diva than Aretha Franklin #fashionista)and  Jae Crowder (J.R. Smith still hasn’t apologized to him for that season ending face smack two years ago).

I’m not saying that these guys are complete pussies. They aren’t. But I think we can all agree that they maybe their DNA more closely resembles Meek Mill than say someone like 50 Cent.

 

Sweethearts

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“Can’t we all just get along?”

~Rodney King

Sweethearts just want to ball. They are not trying to start any chingaso. Only a first class dickhead would start a fight with these kind of guys. The typical response when you see  someone picking at them is “WHY are they fucking with this guy? What is wrong with them?” Good examples of the Sweetheart are Jeremy Lin, Andrew Wiggins, Ron Baker, Kristaps Porzingis, Nick “What is You Doing?” Young, Mike Miller, Harrison Barnes, Roy Hibbert, Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, Nick Collison, and of course, Dirk Nowitzki. 

 

L-7 Weenies

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“Do you love this shit? Are you high right now? Do you ever get nervous?”

~Drake

 

Somewhere during the course of their lives, these players crossed the threshold that separates nice guys from being p@*$#y. Sweethearts are so well liked that messing with them that speaks volumes about the agitator. The full on weenies are so pathetic because they bring trouble upon themselves. They aren’t necessarily fake tough guys, but anytime they are involved in a dust-up you think “C’mon dawg you know you ain’t gon swing on nobody. Who do you think you are fooling?” You do kinda feel sorry for them until you realize that they probably brought it on themselves with their insecurities. Sometimes these guys were just unlucky and were born with punch-able faces.

Currently the best examples are Kelly OlynyckJerryd Bayless (light-skinned dudes am I right??), Matthew Dellavedova, Austin Rivers, Chandler Parsons, Sam Dekker (who had the face of a trust fund kid before he got into the league) Kevin Love, Paul George,  Aaron and Andrew Harrison (busters), James Harden, Enes Kantner, Kyle SinglerJames Harden, and Meyers Leonard who looks like the kind of guy who sold Adderall out of his briefcase while he was in college. 

The universe is constantly in flux. Things change constantly from day-to-day, game to game, and season to season. Every NBA sequence brings with it the chance to get exposed by someone bigger, faster, and younger. One never knows what can happen and going from being a stud to being washed can happen in the blink of an eye. I created this spectrum not to diss or slander any NBA players, but to illustrate how labels easily stick even if they aren’t entirely accurate. The truth is that the traits that we think make us “brave” are pretty nebulous. We can really only be as tough as the circumstances we fight through.

BM

profile pic b mick  Bobby Mickey is the alter ego of writer and poet Edward Austin Robertson. When he isn’t involved in some basketball related activity, actively looking for parties to deejay or venues to perform comedy, he can be found recording podcasts with Craig Stein at Fullsass Studios. Follow him on twitter @clickpicka79. For booking inquiries, send contact info to thisagoodassgame@gmail.com. 

Observations From a Dimly Lit Living Room

Are you entertained? Well neither am I honestly. The Eastern Conference playoff has been as trash as I thought it would be. The Cavs look like they are going to sweep their way to the Finals and everyone is going fight to suck the media teat of Lebron James when they haven’t even had to break a sweat yet. I can’t wait til they get exposed in the NBA Finals. For all the Lebron dominance talk, he’d be lucky to get a top four seed if they had to go through the teams out west. #fraudulent

Let us pour one out for veteran Tony Parker as his career might have come to an end this week on a not so freak accident. You know it’s a bad injury if someone gets hurt on a non-contact injury. It happened to Kobe. I remember when Vinny Testaverde ruptured his Achilles back in ’99 for the Jets, and you knew from the look on Parker’s face that his season was over.

Salutes to Tony though for showing that just because you are washed, doesn’t mean you can’t still be effective when your team really needs it. Seeing him rupture his quad though put a scare in me, because I definitely don’t want to go out like that. I’d rather walk away knowing I had a little left in the tank than to be carried off the pickup courts. Besides, I don’t have insurance. I can’t afford to miss work because I got hurt playing a basketball game. Tony Parker’s injury only further reinforces the fact that I need to retire from full court ball soon because I’m almost 40, and there is no doubt in my mind that I’m washed.

But before we write off the Spurs, the Tony Parker injury may actually be a blessing in disguise. Tony was on the verge of getting his fruit cocktail taken from him the deeper the Spurs went into the playoffs. It was no secret that he was becoming a defensive liability, and his presence on the court was creating some mismatches in the Rockets favor (so what do you think was going to happen if/when they faced the Warriors?).

Although I wouldn’t wish injury to anyone (outside of Lebron, Grayson Allen, Gerald Henderson or Dahntay Jones), this is good for the Spurs because Gregg Popovich can’t lean on Parker for heavy minutes down the stretch. Pops has to go to the more inexperienced, but more athletic guards on the bench. Jonathan Simmons, Dejounte Murray, Kyle Anderson, and Manu Ginobili match up way better with the long Warriors guards than Patty Mills or Parker. They may actually have a chance now to win a couple of games in the Western Conference Finals.

As for the Rockets, just when I was ready to think better of James Harden, he goes and does James Harden things. He just can’t help himself. He is unequivocally a crybaby ass #Buster who would rather play to the refs than play legit basketball. He’s like the guy you play in pickup ball who calls fouls about a half second after they realize they are going to miss a layup. Dude is all smoke and mirrors. I respect nothing about his basketball game. And to all you trolls and haters who flooded my phone with text messages because you’d written the Spurs off after that abysmal game one, go eat a d**k in the design in the Rockets logo.

Rockets are still garbage, and watching this series only reminded me of why I stopped watching Rockets games in the first place. They are fucking annoying! I don’t know how Patrick Beverley made it this far in life being the asshole he is. I bet his parents wanted to choke him as a teenager. Look at this childhood picture.pb_2

That is the face of a sneaky-as-fuck kid. I bet his parents had at least three conversations with him about how stealing from your family is wrong. Beverley and Harden alone are enough to want to throw a shoe at the television, but then Sam Dekker’s image comes onto the screen and I immediately want to mush his entitled face into a brick wall. I’m going to enjoy watching them get sent fishing.

Congratulations to the Toronto Rappers Raptors for having another wonderfully mediocre season. By 5:00 pm eastern time they will be swept and planning their summer vacations to Greece, Libya, and Croatia. Their “superstars” Demar Derozan and Kyle Lowry are actually just really good players who need a real superstar to lead their team to a Finals appearance. I still think Demar is the second best shooting guard in the league, but remember when people were trying to say Kyle Lowry was a top 3 point guard in the east? NOT  SO FAST MY FRIEND!!!

Utah-Golden State has shaken out exactly as I expected. Utah has competed, but there is only so much you can do against the Warriors. They are stacked. You’d have to go all the way back to the 80’s Lakers and Celtics teams to see a time when four superstars played on the same team. This Warriors team isn’t even humming yet and teams can’t keep up with them. Just you wait. That first quarter in the final game of the Blazers series was just a little taste of what they are capable of doing. In the meantime, its been fun making “Quin Snyder looks like someone who jerks off with Icy Hot” jokes (shout out to Aaron McGruder). Their off-season will be starting around Tuesday morning at 12:01 CST. daria-screen-1-499x380

As for the Boston-Washington series, its been ugly, but it’s also been heated. Some writers have even gone as far to say that this series has a 90’s feel to it. When two sneaky dirty teams face off in the playoffs, some fuck shit is bound to pop off. And wherever there is fuckshit happening, you best believe the fuck boys are in the vicinity. I actually gained a little respect for Kelly Oubre, even though his reaction was a typical emo light-skinned guy reaction. Had he been smarter about it, he would just given Kelly Olynyck a nice elbow to the grill gut when no one was looking (if you’re gonna get suspended you may as well get your money’s worth).

Olynck has become Frank Brickowski 2.0, hiding behind his Opie Cunningham. friendly Canadian neighbor facade, but is one of the dirtiest players in the NBA. Its hard rooting FOR the Cleveland Cavaliers, but there is a small part of me that will enjoy them exposing the Boston Celtics’ flaws next round (sorry Mikey)–mostly because I’m mad that Danny Ainge didn’t try to make a run at the Eastern Conference title this year (Jimmy Butler or Paul George would have been the needle mover they needed to knock off Lebron). You can talk all you want about not mortgaging the future by trying to win a title this year, but the truth is you never know what is going to happen down the road. Who would have thought we’d see Harden, Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, and Serge Ibaka playing in the playoffs but on four different teams?

Celtics-Cavs and Spurs-Warriors is probably the best scenario we could have imagined for the Conference Finals. Enjoy this week of hoop!

BM

 

[Update at 1:17 pm] Whoops! Almost forgot to shout out the dudes over at TRUEHOOP who’ve undergone some massive changes over at the four lettered network. I’m very happy that Big Wos and Amin are still on the air keeping it street. #Respect

profile pic b mick  Bobby Mickey is the alter ego of writer and poet Edward Austin Robertson. When he isn’t involved in some basketball related activity, actively looking for parties to deejay or venues to perform comedy, he can be found recording podcasts with Craig Stein at Fullsass Studios. Follow him on twitter @clickpicka79. For booking inquiries, send contact info to thisagoodassgame@gmail.com.