Basketball is my Girlfriend

It is what it is. I’ve missed my window for finding something warm to curl up with for this winter, but at least basketball season coincides with this time of the year. I’ll never be lonely as long as I got hoop on my mind, though the springtime will be a different issue, as the warm weather and hormones work in tandem to create a need that basketball alone can’t satiate.

In college there was this young lady in my linguistics class that I became acquainted with. She was tall, brunette and besides a little bit of acne, she was gorgeous. She worked as a volleyball coach at a local high school, and she also happened to love basketball. We got along swimmingly despite her being a Duke fan. One particular Thursday night in the midst of the playoffs, we had a date planned. I realized early that afternoon that the Rockets (back when they had T-Mac) were playing and there was no way I could miss it.

She wasn’t old enough to get into the bars, so I had a dilemma on my hands. This wouldn’t be the first (nor the last)time I’d break a date in favor of watching basketball. I called her up about 4:55 and was setting her up to let her down, when she suggested I come to her dorm room and watch the game. Problem solved.

Later that night, while watching what was a blowout game, we made a bet about the 2001 Blue Devils roster. I knew I was right and could have easily bet something a little less innocuous than a back rub, but anything more than that seemed icky (Things that are great independently don’t always mix so well).

So we checked the internet, and of course I was right (I think the bet was if Chris Duhon played on that championship team). I got a fantastic back massage (which is way rarer than good sex), while the Rockets beat down the Mavericks, and then later……well let’s just say it got a little warm in that single dorm room.

I was too young then to know that I was experiencing joy in its purest form, but I knew that moment was a pretty special one. If something like that happened to me now at 35 (soon to be 36) I’d probably lock that down with the quickness. But I was a young cat, and I had a lot of places to visit, and things to do. She had no intention of ever leaving Texas I think– I don’t know it was never that serious–we were on that casual tip. She did hit me up about a year and a half later.

I was living in Austin and was about to leave Texas forever in less than a week. Now that I think about it, I should have hooked up with her one last time before I left the state. She was a fun gal. But most importantly, she understood that basketball was my girlfriend and she was just my mistress. She knew how to give, and she knew how to share. And if you understand those principles in life, then you understand basketball.

Enough reminiscing, let’s talk about these Good Ass Games of the Week:


Spurs-Portland These aren’t the same fresh faces that got swept in the playoffs last year. The Spurs are a little banged up and Portland has looked pretty good so far this year. If this gets out of hand late int he third or early in the fourth quarter, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Popovich pull the starters. San Antonio has a week of tough opponents ahead of them.


Golden State vs. Memphis This would be THE GOOD ASS GAME OF THE WEEK if not for Thursday night’s game. With no Bogut, or David Lee, the match up plays into the Grizzlies’ hands. Bogut and Lee are both big men who can force Z-Bo and Gasol out of the paint, and open up the floor. Plus that is more fouls to use against the Memphis big men. Tony Allen vs. the Splash Brothers will be a fun thing to watch too. I hope these two teams face each other in the playoffs with healthy rosters.

OKC-SAC later night. As of tonight, Sacramento is half a game out of eighth place and they just fired their head coach Mike Malone. Maybe Shaq can provide some insight on TNT this week.


Memphis vs. San Antonio Griz on the second end of a back-to back. Don’t read too much into this one, because the Spurs may just run them out the building. San Antonio has been spanking them ever since Memphis knocked them out of the playoffs a couple of years ago.

Milwaukee vs. Phoenix as a backup plan. Phoenix has not looked anywhere as good as last year. The way the roster is set up now, I don’t think they have enough to make a deep run into the playoffs if they somehow sneak in. They may need to make a trade. Ryan Anderson would be a perfect fit on that squad. Brooklyn is also trying to get rid of some salary too, if the Suns are serious about this year, they need to get on the phone and make a move.

Something I heard from Jalen Rose a couple of weeks ago that I totally agree with, is that they don’t seem to have a leader. After watching a few of their games this week, I’m almost completely sure that this is going to have to be Eric Bledsoe’s team. If they go into the playoffs with no one who can take the big shot at the end, this will end up looking like the Blazers of yesteryear (1999-2000 was a fun team but whose team was it?). Stay tuned.


Oklahoma City goes to Golden State. This is will probably go down as one of top ten Good Ass Games of the Year. Last year this happened,

Believe me when I say this game will be worth breaking a date for.


Chicago-Memphis will be a dogfight. The only thing standing between me and this game will be Dave Chappelle at the Brady Theater. I can’t lose! The show starts at 7:00, so maybe I can catch the 4th qtr of this one (unless by chance we catch one of those marathon affairs that he is known for).

Portland-San Antonio also in the early round of games. Two games in one week almost guarantees this game will be a tight affair. I expect a physical game and lots of loud “GO SPURS Go” chants. If I had a mistress, we’d definitely be having a basketball threesome at AT&T Center. If that gal starts actin’ up I’ll just take her friend!

What’s the Word?? LAL? More like LOL!!!!! Oklahoma City goes to Los Angeles to play the Lakers. The Thunder have pretty much owned the Lakers since the days when KD and Russ were just neophytes and were susceptible to Pau Gasol put backs during that 2010 run. Russ loves going back to L.A. and going HAM for his hometown folk. Hustle Westbrook gets no less than 38 points this game because the Lakers have no one who can stop him. If you like Laker beatdowns, and seeing Kobe getting pissed off and barking at his teammates, then this is the game for you.


Spurs-Mavericks I was so hype for this game until I realized that the Spurs were also playing the Friday night before. This is a classic “Popovich sits the starters” game. I was even thinking about buying tickets for this one too. WOMP WOMP WOMP!

If you have nothing better to do on a Saturday night, you can peep Bucks-Clippers, or Phoenix-New Orleans, but honestly this may be one of those nights to take one your less interesting chicks on a date. You can even take them to a bar where the game will be on with no sound. You can halfway listen to your date and occasionally glance at the score on the television. Everyone wins!!!


Lakers-Kings and Pelicans-Thunder are worth stopping in on if and only if “Lil Brow Wow” and “Boogie Down Productions” are playing for their respective teams. If not, then take Saturday night’s date to brunch, drop her off at her crib and then get some rest for Monday. With the holidays approaching, you can get away with not calling her for a while, but the great weekend you shared will still be fresh in her mind. Hell, keep it on ice til New Year’s and I guarantee the champagne won’t be the only thing to get popped on Dec. 31st. Trust me on this, I’m a doctor.

Before I go, big shout out to “Maple Jordan”, Andrew Wiggins for winning “Rookie of the Month.” Keep it up young man, and you’ll make the both of us look good (forget what I said about the T-cubs–I did say A-Wiggs would get the ROY award or at least share it with Jabari. And don’t say they don’t give it to players on losing teams. The Sixers tanked last year and they still gave the award to Michael Carter-Williams). Until next week, I’m OUT!!!!


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