No Alarms and No Surprises Please

We’re only a month into the season, but I’m already feeling silly about some of my preseason predictions. I wanted to be edgy with some of my picks and may end up looking foolish for my Milwaukee Bucks analysis.

Aside Note: Staring into Jason Kidd’s eyes is like staring into the abyss. No disrespect to the legend, but if he were anything but a basketball genius, and NBA coach, I’d be nervous interacting with him. Imagine being a woman, and having J-Kidd as your gynecologist. Or imagine if J-Kidd was a manager at a cell phone store. He could either talk you into buying all kinds of unnecessary upgrades, or he would creep you the fuck out. If Jason Kidd were your EAP appointed shrink, would you go back and see him? I bet he practices hypnotism on the undercover.  You could tell me anything about Jason Kidd and I’d probably halfway believe it. The guy has had some notable public (and not so public) fiascoes  in his time.

As much as I want to perform self fellatio over my pre-season Mavs pick, I can’t help but feel stupid for buying into hype on the OKC Thunder. Dion Waiters is doing to basketball what Puff Daddy did to hip-hop in the late 90’s. It hurts me to my soul to watch that guy play basketball. Which makes it doubly tough to watch Thunder games. That guy couldn’t spell pass if you spotted put a P right next to Kim Kardashian’s booty. I’m not sold on the role players on their squad. I know its early, but as of today, 11/28/2015, they don’t look like NBA Finals material.

Spurs look good. The problem is that we haven’t seen them play too many good teams yet. You can also tell they are still trying to get the new guys acclimated to their system of play.

I seriously underestimated the Warriors though. As of last night, they are 100-20 for the last 2 seasons. I already said enough on them last week, but 17-0 is some video game shit. I could do that on NBA Live, but the sliders would be skewed and I would have certainly hit reset on a few of those games. Watching them play is a spiritual experience, and Steph Curry is the most exciting player in the game right now.

The biggest surprise has been how well the East has looked this year. Scoring has been up this year, and every team in the top 8 has a winning record as of today.  The Hornets are not as bad as I thought they would be.The Pistons are putting up a fight, Orlando is pesky with their talented backcourt, and even the Knicks are playing respectable ball (who is this Porzingis kid everyone is talking about???).

Although the Spurs and Warriors are looking good, and the Mavericks are surprising everyone but me and my podcast mate, Craig Stein, the West has become surprisingly buster laden. Think of the biggest busters in the NBA, and I can rattle off at least five off the top of my head. Don’t believe me?

[Takes a Deep breath]



[And exhale]

Four of those guys play on the same team, and another set of two play on the Rockets. Enough said right?

As it stands the 7-7 Utah Jazz would make the playoffs as an eighth seed. Of course I don’t expect this to last, but it does make for a very interesting start to the season. We were ready to just hand over the Eastern Conference title to the Heat Cavaliers. It may not be such a cakewalk.

On this week’s slate of games, its slim pickings for the first week of December. Maybe that is a good thing:





Spurs-Bulls (Good Ass Game of the Week)



This a good ass day to get some work done.


Golden State-Charlotte 

Go ahead and mark an “L” for the Hornets, as Steph Curry comes home. Do yourself a favor and listen to the away feed, as his dad, Dell will be calling it as a color commentator. Someone in the East will gain a game on Charlotte if they take care of their own business.


Playoff preview?

Milwaukee-San Antonio

Worth checking out for sure. I’ll probably be at work late this night, catching up on work, so this is the perfect storm. I may as well bring a cot to my classroom.


Oklahoma City-Miami

Interesting front court matchup here. I’d bet the over on blocks swatted this game.


Who knew that the missing piece for Memphis was a guard from Kansas?



I know my boy Falcon Mike will be on this one. Rondo vs. his favorite team? MMMMPPPPHHHHH

“Black Album” Friday

It is a long season. Get out of the house for a change. Spend some time with that special someone. Big ups to one of the greatest to ever step in the booth.


Golden State-Toronto

This game will almost certainly be a beige-out. Every light skinned dude from Hamilton, Ontario to Concord, California will be tuning in for this one.

People always ask me, “Bobby Mickey why don’t you like light skinned people?” Well for the record, I have nothing against light skinned people–my mother is light skinned, my granny was light skinned, if you know anything about my proclivities, there is a really good chance my kids will be light skinned.

But light skinned people are a breed of folk of their own. A lot of them think they are better than dark people because they are light, and they also think they are better than pale people because they have permanent tans (the notable exceptions to this are Chris Arnold and Stephen Curry). If you don’t believe me, just ask one of them. They will guiltily laugh because they know its true. I ain’t lying!!!


This will be a hard fought affair, and then Wade, Bosh, and Lebron will all go out to a steak and shrimp dinner and talk about the old days. Then they will do “not one, not two, not three, four, five shots” of really expensive tequila, before tearfully hugging goodbye.


If my man “Boogie Down Productions” is playing, there is good chance there may be a fight/and or ejection. I’m a mild mannered guy and the Rockets piss me off. Imagine a hot head like Cousins having to put up with Harden’s FuckBoyShit. 

Blazers vs. Teen Wolves

I can’t wait for my boy Bobo to get back from Europe so I can start texting him about the Blazers again. This game is definitely group text worthy.



I could see this one getting testy too. I don’t know if this is Good Ass Game of the Week material, but I guarantee you its gonna be some ice grilling going on. By the way, I love me some Russ, homie is perpetually sour.


Talk about tapping that vein. Wizards are boring and basic as fuck. I’m sure there are 1,000’s of reasons to watch this game, but I can’t think of any.

A lot of shade being thrown in today’s post. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. These are just jokes folks. Life is too short to be getting butt hurt over every little thing. There are issues to worry about in the world.





#thisagoodassgame #fullsass







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