Yikes. This series has sucked. There has not been a close game yet; the best we’ve seen is a game 4 first half that ended in a 61-61 score. It has been a very intense series however, and thus highly illuminating. What have we learned?
- Cleveland fans deserve every horrible sports trauma that has come their way. These past two weeks every insufferable, pathetic schmuck I’ve come across from Cleveland made me wish that the city and all of its sports teams just fall into Lake Erie. One Cleveland ex pat had the gall to ask me if Chief Wahoo offended me because I was Native American. I responded “No it offends me because I’m a human being.” He didn’t get it. I hope that city never wins ANY kind of championship. I don’t care if its team ping-pong, curling, or MLS soccer.
- Lebron is a whiny bitch. How can a man so powerful and so great be such a fucking whiner? This guy steps over another player (one of the most disrespectful things to do to another person–just ask Lebron’s coach) and gets riled up when that player calls him a bitch. I’m not saying the (flick?) in the balls was justified, but compared to the ball slaps and “Mitch Cup Checks” that everyone else has endured, how can anyone with a straight face say that deserved a flagrant foul upgrade? If there was a pivotal point in the series, this was clearly the series turning event. Oh by the way, Lebron lobbied the league to suspend Draymond Green for 2 games for that little “flick of tha wrist.” Lebron is an incredible player, but I’ve lost all respect for him as a competitor. This, and the way he has been manhandling Steph Curry has shown me that the man has no sportsmanship. I won’t even go into how he should be called for an offensive foul every time he throws an elbow on the people guarding him. Seriously, fuck that guy.
- Golden State is not the best team of all time. This series should have been over in five games. The role players have disappeared time and time again the last 2 rounds. No one has consistently stepped up when the moment called for it. I expected Harrison Barnes to deliver in the clutch in game 5 when Green was suspended. Festus Ezeli has been terrible, and Speights has been non-existent. With Andrew Bogut out for the series, the Warriors desperately need the bigs to get BIG. If they don’t show up Sunday night, it’s going to be a shitty Father’s Day for the Dubs. They might get drove, because Tristan Thompson is not going to let up, and neither will “LeBitch” James. I think this has been the impetus for the Warriors not executing their offense. Their shots made from assists have gone drastically down, and Klay and Steph have been relegated to shooting contested three pointers. I think the trust factor is the reason they have been just chucking it up and running back on D, after Cleveland gets a rebound. That record-breaking Chicago team would’ve handled them in 6 games.
- The refs have been terrible all playoffs, but they have really outdone themselves in the Finals. This is the best the NBA could come up with? No one knows what a foul is from one play to another. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just keep the best crew on for the whole series? How about that for some much-needed consistency? I swear to God I will fucking throw my glass of ginger ale if this game 7 is decided by some shitty officiating.
- Lastly, if anyone is wondering what happened to the Warriors home court advantage, then I will direct them to Darren Rovell’s twitter account. These tickets are beyond Super Bowl prices, and the rich casual fans are ruining the atmosphere of what was once the hardest building for opposing teams to get a W. Sadly this is just a preview of what home games will be like when they move across to San Francisco. So techie bros, when you are asking how the NBA’s best regular season team of all time dropped 2 home games in the Finals (Frankly any team that does this deserves an L), just look in the mirror. All the real, and hard-core Dubs fans are not in the building. They are the ones who know how to affect the outcome of a game. The people in the stands were on pins and needles in game 5, and I’m convinced that nervous energy seeped onto the court.
Normally I would say game 7 favors the home team, but I am not as confident in the Warriors as I was 3 games ago. The only thing keeping me from picking Cleveland in game 7 is the fact that they rep Cleveland. What could be more Clevelandish than them going down 3-1, busting their asses to get a game 7, and then shitting the bed in the most heartbreaking way?
Quick story: During this year’s past football season, I was at a bar with some buddies watching the Browns-Ravens game on Monday night. It was an absolute travesty to watch, but I happened to be there for a hoops game, and decided to watch the 4th quarter. The game was terrible, and both teams were tied 27-27 (trust me, it wasn’t nearly as exciting as the score would indicate), but Cleveland lined up for a sure-fire game winning field goal as time expired.
Right before the snap, my buddy says “You know what would be funny? If the Ravens blocked this kick and returned it for a touchdown.” I then said, ” Man that would be the most Cleveland-est way for them to lose the game.”
Guess what happened. Yep. Cleveland found a new way to blow a sure win. In the tradition of Earnest Byner, and Jose Mesa, someone on the Cavaliers is going to find a new way to break this fanbases heart, and I will be elated. My money is on Kevin Love or J.R. Smith. And if I’m wrong, and the Cavs win this series, then Lebron James is the greatest player we’ve ever “witnessed” play, AND I will buy a Lebron jersey to play pickup in–along with a headband accessory– for the rest of the year, until the next basketball season starts. But no matter what, I will forever in my heart feel that he pulled some bitch shit this series, and he will one day get his comeuppance. Schadenfreude can be so sweet if you open your heart to it. He won’t be the best player forever. Even Jordan got his ankles broken.
Enjoy the last game of the season.