Blazers

No Alarms and No Surprises Please

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We’re only a month into the season, but I’m already feeling silly about some of my preseason predictions. I wanted to be edgy with some of my picks and may end up looking foolish for my Milwaukee Bucks analysis.

Aside Note: Staring into Jason Kidd’s eyes is like staring into the abyss. No disrespect to the legend, but if he were anything but a basketball genius, and NBA coach, I’d be nervous interacting with him. Imagine being a woman, and having J-Kidd as your gynecologist. Or imagine if J-Kidd was a manager at a cell phone store. He could either talk you into buying all kinds of unnecessary upgrades, or he would creep you the fuck out. If Jason Kidd were your EAP appointed shrink, would you go back and see him? I bet he practices hypnotism on the undercover.  You could tell me anything about Jason Kidd and I’d probably halfway believe it. The guy has had some notable public (and not so public) fiascoes  in his time.

As much as I want to perform self fellatio over my pre-season Mavs pick, I can’t help but feel stupid for buying into hype on the OKC Thunder. Dion Waiters is doing to basketball what Puff Daddy did to hip-hop in the late 90’s. It hurts me to my soul to watch that guy play basketball. Which makes it doubly tough to watch Thunder games. That guy couldn’t spell pass if you spotted put a P right next to Kim Kardashian’s booty. I’m not sold on the role players on their squad. I know its early, but as of today, 11/28/2015, they don’t look like NBA Finals material.

Spurs look good. The problem is that we haven’t seen them play too many good teams yet. You can also tell they are still trying to get the new guys acclimated to their system of play.

I seriously underestimated the Warriors though. As of last night, they are 100-20 for the last 2 seasons. I already said enough on them last week, but 17-0 is some video game shit. I could do that on NBA Live, but the sliders would be skewed and I would have certainly hit reset on a few of those games. Watching them play is a spiritual experience, and Steph Curry is the most exciting player in the game right now.

The biggest surprise has been how well the East has looked this year. Scoring has been up this year, and every team in the top 8 has a winning record as of today.  The Hornets are not as bad as I thought they would be.The Pistons are putting up a fight, Orlando is pesky with their talented backcourt, and even the Knicks are playing respectable ball (who is this Porzingis kid everyone is talking about???).

Although the Spurs and Warriors are looking good, and the Mavericks are surprising everyone but me and my podcast mate, Craig Stein, the West has become surprisingly buster laden. Think of the biggest busters in the NBA, and I can rattle off at least five off the top of my head. Don’t believe me?

[Takes a Deep breath]

AUSTINRIVERS,CHRISPAUL,JOSHSMITH,DEANDREJORDAN,

JAMESHARDEN,DIONWAITERS, DWIGHTHOWARD, and ROY HIBBERT.

[And exhale]

Four of those guys play on the same team, and another set of two play on the Rockets. Enough said right?

As it stands the 7-7 Utah Jazz would make the playoffs as an eighth seed. Of course I don’t expect this to last, but it does make for a very interesting start to the season. We were ready to just hand over the Eastern Conference title to the Heat Cavaliers. It may not be such a cakewalk.

On this week’s slate of games, its slim pickings for the first week of December. Maybe that is a good thing:

 

Monday

OKC-ATL 

Dallas-Sacramento

Spurs-Bulls (Good Ass Game of the Week)

 

Tuesday

This a good ass day to get some work done.

Wednesday

Golden State-Charlotte 

Go ahead and mark an “L” for the Hornets, as Steph Curry comes home. Do yourself a favor and listen to the away feed, as his dad, Dell will be calling it as a color commentator. Someone in the East will gain a game on Charlotte if they take care of their own business.

Toronto-Atlanta

Playoff preview?

Milwaukee-San Antonio

Worth checking out for sure. I’ll probably be at work late this night, catching up on work, so this is the perfect storm. I may as well bring a cot to my classroom.

Thursday

Oklahoma City-Miami

Interesting front court matchup here. I’d bet the over on blocks swatted this game.

Spurs-Grizzlebees 

Who knew that the missing piece for Memphis was a guard from Kansas?

 

Celtics-Kings

I know my boy Falcon Mike will be on this one. Rondo vs. his favorite team? MMMMPPPPHHHHH

“Black Album” Friday

It is a long season. Get out of the house for a change. Spend some time with that special someone. Big ups to one of the greatest to ever step in the booth.

Saturday

Golden State-Toronto

This game will almost certainly be a beige-out. Every light skinned dude from Hamilton, Ontario to Concord, California will be tuning in for this one.

People always ask me, “Bobby Mickey why don’t you like light skinned people?” Well for the record, I have nothing against light skinned people–my mother is light skinned, my granny was light skinned, if you know anything about my proclivities, there is a really good chance my kids will be light skinned.

But light skinned people are a breed of folk of their own. A lot of them think they are better than dark people because they are light, and they also think they are better than pale people because they have permanent tans (the notable exceptions to this are Chris Arnold and Stephen Curry). If you don’t believe me, just ask one of them. They will guiltily laugh because they know its true. I ain’t lying!!!

Cleveland-Miami 

This will be a hard fought affair, and then Wade, Bosh, and Lebron will all go out to a steak and shrimp dinner and talk about the old days. Then they will do “not one, not two, not three, four, five shots” of really expensive tequila, before tearfully hugging goodbye.

Kings-Rockets

If my man “Boogie Down Productions” is playing, there is good chance there may be a fight/and or ejection. I’m a mild mannered guy and the Rockets piss me off. Imagine a hot head like Cousins having to put up with Harden’s FuckBoyShit. 

Blazers vs. Teen Wolves

I can’t wait for my boy Bobo to get back from Europe so I can start texting him about the Blazers again. This game is definitely group text worthy.

Sunday

Kings-Thunder

I could see this one getting testy too. I don’t know if this is Good Ass Game of the Week material, but I guarantee you its gonna be some ice grilling going on. By the way, I love me some Russ, homie is perpetually sour.

Dallas-Washington

Talk about tapping that vein. Wizards are boring and basic as fuck. I’m sure there are 1,000’s of reasons to watch this game, but I can’t think of any.

A lot of shade being thrown in today’s post. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. These are just jokes folks. Life is too short to be getting butt hurt over every little thing. There are issues to worry about in the world.

Peace,

 

BM

bobbymickey@gmail.com

fullsass.com

@clickpicka79

#thisagoodassgame #fullsass

 

 

 

 

 

 

Talking Turkey

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It was a good ass week for hoops last week. The Warriors somehow managed to wow me again, Kentucky hit the nation with the nastiest 1-2 combo I’ve seen since Lennox Lewis was boxing, and the NBA Rookie of the Year award has become a two person race.

I peeped the Champions Classic on Tuesday night and was rather impressed with what I saw. It was a basically a pair of Wackarnold’s All American games. After watching the Kentucky-Duke game, the KU-Sparty game was a serious letdown.

Bill Self still loves to keep his best shooters on the bench and clog the lanes with big men. I don’t understand why Brannen Greene (as of now suspended for 6 games) or Svi Mykhailiuk are not on the floor at all times to keep defenses honest.

If I’m playing Kansas I’ll take my chances with Frank Mason, Devonte Graham, and Wayne Selden shooting from behind the arc. Perry Ellis is a good shooter, but you are doing teams a favor by having him 18-25 feet away from the basket. Maybe he does become a Lamarcus Aldridge clone on the next level, but he is not there yet.

Big ups to Denzel Valentine (triple double), who was the only redeeming aspect of that game. Shit was weaker than a Drake diss record.

Kentucky continues to be a professional basketball camp. If I was an 17 year old stud about to choose a college, the only thing that would keep me from signing with the UK would be their historic legacy of racism. But a night on the town with Ashley Judd’s old ass may be enough to sway a brutha. Speaking inf Kentucky players, peep this article by former national (and NBA )champion Nazr Mohammed.

The Kentucky backcourt of Tyler Ulis ,and Jamal Murray is the best in the country (no disrespect to Ron Baker and Fred Van Fleet).

Speaking of that Duke-Kentucky game, I’ve figured out the formula for the Dukies winning a title. Last year’s title game was easily the blackest roster I’ve seen since I’ve been a hoops fan. Anytime they have had more than four white guys getting major minutes, you can pretty much pencil them in as first weekend flame out.

Grayson Allen had a good weekend up in New York, but you saw what happened on Tuesday when he played against future professionals (2-11 with 6 pts). I saw Bobby Hurley play at Duke, and Allen is no Bobby Hurley. I’d say he’s a “Wojo” with hops and a better shot (no disrespect to “Wojo” or to short white guys—some of my best friends are short and white).

And before you say something about the 2010-2011 team, when they beat Butler; that was a down year for college hoops.

Watching college hoops reminded me of why I prefer NBA ball though. College hoops is so sloppy, coach dominated, and frankly, just an inferior product. The gap between college hoop and pro ball is huge. I basically watch for scouting purposes alone. If you wanted to put money on how many college games I’ll watch this year, I’d bet -25. Call your bookie now.

Now, onto the pros:

 

Monday

Some good ass games to start the week with

New York-Miami

The hype on Kristaps Porzingis is getting loud. Playing in a buzz heavy city like New York lends favor for a guy like Porzingis. I hope Justice Winslow is using this as fuel to show out against the Knickerbockers. The media is dying to give Porzingis a nickname and they are reaching. Frankly his last name alone is better than “KP” (there is already a KD why add confusion?), “The Zinger”, or “Rook.” Its much easier for me to yell “Porzingis” when homie is going Fed in a big game. Reminds me of basketball bromance with Sabonis. The syllables just roll off the tongue.

San Antonio- Phoenix

Any other year, the Spurs would be number one option, but with League Pass, the urgency isn’t as strong. I can’t say enough about how much I want to see how they match up with the Dubs. More on them later though.

Sacramento vs. Charlotte will be worth checking out. Rondo is putting up triple doubles faster than you can say Russell Westbrook. I still fux with Rondo, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

This Detroit-Milwaukee game is the perfect example of why I love the condensed game feature on NBA league pass. It’ll be interesting, but not exactly beautiful. Kind of like “ugly” women in New York–still exotic enough to make it worth checking out.

 

Tuesday

Chicago-Portland will be the best game of the night, but the Golden State-Lakers game will be the best blow out game you’ve ever seen.

Speaking of the Warriors, Last Week’s Good Ass Game of the Week, lived up to the hype. Even though Golden State was down, they never panicked. Draymond Green’s three at the end of the 3rd period may as well have been the game winner. His reaction after he hit it, just showed how much swag they have right now.

I love how confident they are. Last year they thought they were good, but this year they know they are good. It is making all the difference in the way they prepare for games.

In Phil Jackson’s “Eleven Rings” (a great read), he talks about the 5 stages of tribal culture.

Level 1 is “All Life Sucks.” The best example of this are franchises like the Kings, and the 76ers.

Level 2 is “My life Sucks” This would be the Clippers right up to the point of them drafting “Beige” Griffin.

Level 3 is “I’m great and your’re not.” Kobe era Lakers without Phil.

Level 4 “We’re Great” Spurs.

Level 5 “Life is Great.” Innocent Wonderment. Talk is about infinite potential and making history. The tribe is in competition with what is possible, not another tribe. Think the 72 win Bulls.

 

Level 5 is where the Warriors are right now. They know they are special, and young enough to enjoy the newness of it all. They are having fun, which makes it fun to watch them. I haven’t seen this kind of buzz surrounding a team’s offense since the showtime Lakers. It is fitting that they can tie the record for best start to a season by beating them on Tuesday.

Wednesday

Cleveland-Toronto

I hope this is a second round matchup in the playoffs.

Atlanta-Minnesota 

Trust me. By the way. I love me some Karl Anthony Towns. He plays D, he has a good post game, and he can pass. I’m just sayin’

Sacramento-Milwaukee

The highlights alone will be worth watching.

Miami-Detroit

Hassan Whiteside will be the starting big man for the Eastern Conference All Stars.

Dallas-San Antonio (GOOD ASS GAME OF THE WEEK)

Can you say live tweet session? #FULLSASS

Thursday

This some good ass Turkey.

Friday

Sacramento vs. Minnesota

Some young talent in this one.

Golden State vs. Phoenix

Suns will hang with them for about 2 -3 quarters before Dubs run away from them. Records will be broken.

Detroit vs. Oklahoma City

The return of Reggie.

 

Saturday

Atlanta vs. San Antonio  will be something like this.

Sunday

Minnesota-Los Angeles 

If you really need to tap that vein.

 

Have a happy Thanksgiving.

Peace.

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Easin’ into the Grind

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I haven’t had as much time as I’d like to watch NBA this season. The number of games I want to catch up on are piling up. The bandwidth at my local Starbucks is weak, and I’m afraid that if I get internet at my house that I’ll become a hermit. By December, I’ll be a bit more adjusted, and will have caught my breath by winter break. I plan to devote at least 5-6 hours a day during this period to watching basketball. Only 4 more weeks until this is a reality. The marquee “Good Ass Game of the Week” matchups have been as good as advertised, but the biggest surprise to me is how much better ball is in the Eastern Conference. The quality of play is improved, and instead of 89-76 games, teams are actually scoring into the 100’s.

All that being said, I still fux with the Western Conference teams more heavily than the East–no doubt. Right now my favorite squads to watch are the Warriors (unreal the kind of ball they are playing. I don’t think an offense has generated this kind of round-the-league since the Showtime era Lakers), the Bulls (can actually stretch the floor with shooters), the Teen Wolves (could conceivably have two of the best 2 way players in the league someday with Karl Anthony Towns and Andrew Wiggins–I’ve watched more games by them this year than I have in the entire KG “Big Ticket” era), Kings (those throwback powder blue jerseys are sick), and of course the Spurs.

This week Kawhi supplanted Kevin Durant as my favorite player in the NBA. Curry stays on at #2, while KD slips to three. Steph and KD are both electrifying to watch, but Leonard is slowly building up his case for being the best 2 way player in the game (after Lebron of course). But Lebron won’t be around forever, and we’re only 3-4 seasons away from Lebron’s body betraying him, making him merely great rather than otherworldly. Who’ll supplant Lebron? Well it could be any of these guys in no particular order:

Andrew Wiggins

Victor Oladipo

Jimmy Butler

Kawhi Leonard

Anthony Davis

Paul George

Anthony Towns

The NBA product is in good hands for the next 8-10 years. Let’s get to these games:

Monday

Portland-San Antonio 

This will be close for about 3 and a half quarters if we are lucky. Seriously though, if you like to watch good defenders, and you haven’t been watching Kawhi, do yourself a favor and peep. First hit is free, after that…….

OKC-Memphis

Always a good battle with these two teams. No Durant adds more pressure on the supporting cast to step it up, because you know Hustle Westbrook is going to fill the stat sheet.

“Tap That Vein” Tuesday

Minnesota-Miami 

Young guns. This will be a fun watch. I’m especially looking forward to the Towns-Whiteside face-off.

Toronto-Golden State

Warriors  gonna rock the “Throwbacks” that night. MMMMMPPPPPPPHHHHHHHH!!!!

[If College hoops gives you that buzz, then get on those Duke-Kentucky, Kansas-Michigan State games]

Wednesday

Sacramento-Atlanta

Even when the Kings get blown out, it lends for entertainment.

Dallas-Boston

This strikes me as the type of game one would live-tweet while watching.

Chicago-Phoenix

Suns just aren’t a hoops sexy team this year. It’ll still be a fun game though. Its good toe See Doug McDermott out on the court this year. Homie can ball.

Thursday

Sacramento-Miami

Cousins vs. Whiteside??? Insert “banging in the post” joke here. GO!!!

Milwaukee-Cleveland pt. Duex

The Bucks match up well with the Cavs. Imagine the length of Golden State without the outside shooting threats. That’s the Bucks.

Golden State vs. Lol Clippers “Good Ass Game of the Week”

Good night to make some chili on the crock pot, and stare at the computer (or tv) screen. Warriors have Bogut back for this one. I’m not a betting man, but if I were, I’d put money on Blake Griffin getting a tech this game.

Friday

Detroit-Minnesota 

Some young talent in this one. Andre Drummond vs. Karl Anthony Towns. Remember when they said big men in the post were a dying breed?

Spurs-New Orleans

To quote the great Jordan Paladino, “New Orleans is trash.” The only way I’ll be watching the Pelicans again this year is if they play a marquee  game. I know its early in the season, but not only do they not look like they’ve gotten better, but it seems like they regressed. Its pretty disappointing.

Clippers-Portland

Lillard against Chris Paul sounds slightly amusing. Its hard to watch the Trailblazers even with their sick back court. When Lillard and McCollum are off the floor, it feels like I’m watching a pickup game at the Lewis and Clark Recreation Center–especially with Plumlee, Leonard, and Connaughton on the team.

Chicago-Golden State “Good Ass Game of the Week PART 2”

Last February’s affair was one of the “Good Ass Games of the Year” in my book. I have three words for you: HIGH LEVEL BASKETBALL. Plus two of my favorite college players from back in the day are now coaching against each other. That is correct, I am old enough to have seen the “The Mayor” play in college. #DON”THATECUZYOULATE

Saturday

Sacramento-Orlando

This week definitely has some bite to it. Good ass games every single night. Orlando is pesky. Scott Skiles knows how to get the young bucks fired up to play. Its the veterans who get tired of his overbearing style though. This is the perfect situation for him. In 4 years, maybe not. He is like the Buck Showalter of NBA coaches.

Memphis-San Antonio

Memphis looks a step behind this year. I’d be shocked if this were a double overtime affair like last season. Then again, so was this shot.

Sunday

Definitely the kind of setting that would precipitate a live-tweet session.

Big Ups of the Week to the person who designed this year’s Mavs’ jerseys. Those are the best looking ones I’ve seen in al the years they been rocking them shits.

I wish I could say the same for the Thunder jerseys. HELL NAW!!!

They would get the Buster of the Week Award in a regular week, but last week’s events (the bombings in Lebanon, and the shootings in Paris), have me thinking more sobering thoughts. In order for a tragedy of last week’s magnitude to occur, it takes multiple parties have to be complicit.

I’m not naive enough to think that international conflict can be avoided. Its unavoidable. But the fact that people can’t go to a movie, or see their favorite band without fear of being shot in a public place is discomforting. We have to figure out a way to be better people towards each other. There’s no way around it.

One minute you are ordering a dish in French for the first time, and in the next breath, there can be bullets whizzing by your head.Life really is that fragile.

#shoothoopsnotpeople

Peace.

BM

#thisagoodassgame # fullsass

@clickpicka79

Fullsass.com

bobbymickey@gmail.com

The 35/55 Rule : A Guest Post by Alex Knapp

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Let’s get one thing straight. I’m a Portland Trail Blazer fan. I WANT them to win.
I’m not going to hide my bias or pretend I don’t care about the outcome of a game, or even the ten thousand variables that went into said outcome of that game (if a Pat Connaughton flaps his wings).
In fact, I’m going to use this bias and knowledge of the team to better inform my predictions of their success this season. After all, this is the team I read about and watch the most – shouldn’t I be relatively knowledgeable about them? And aren’t I capable as a rational human to formulate thoughts that aren’t only purely based out of emotional feelings towards the success of the team?
“THE BLAZERS ARE THE BEST CUZ I LIKE THEM A LOT.” – dumb fan with zero basketball knowledge or insight
Therefore, I wrote in my previous guest post – and will continue to believe that they win less than 27.5 games this season (the Vegas over/under).

Now we are 5 games into the season and the Blazers are 3-2. Fans are scoffing at the 27.5 win line, with most eyeing a 35-40 win season, and the select few who wear Rose city colored glasses lamenting an 8th seeded playoff berth – “Listen, CJ is a top 5 SG in the league and Ed Davis is a skinny Z-bo. WE ARE GETTING THE 8th SEED!”

Yet, I’m holding strong.

I don’t think the Blazers have the horses to consistently put up enough points in the stacked west. I think our team is made up of unproven, slightly above average – mismatched  pieces, with horrible perimeter defense from our starting guards, and a general lack of rim protection behind that. I think we lose a lot of close 4th quarter games, and are always at risk of blowing a big lead that we get early in the game. Make no mistake, this team is lottery bound. AND THAT’S OKAY!!!!! 

Now that we’ve got that out of the way…to why we are actually here….

The 35/55 rule.
I’ve developed a simple theory/mathematical equation to predict the probability of the Blazers success this season. By keying in on a few simple box scores numbers, I believe I could successfully tell you the outcome of a game, without having the final score revealed to me.

This theory revolves around the scoring of Damian Lillard and CJ McCollum. Separately and in conjunction.
Why? because their scoring is the single most consistent thing about this team, or at least fans of them winning hope it is.
It’s also the greatest predictor of our offense putting up enough numbers to be even competitive in any game.
The difference between Aminu putting in 6 and 18 points essentially has no baring on whether we win or lose.
Ed Davis playing solid defense and snagging 12 rebounds isn’t a strong enough correlation to us winning games.

Simply put no one else on this team impacts the game enough to make a difference – other than Dame and CJ’s scoring output.

So let’s look at some numbers:

Game 1:  37 + 21  = 58  = W
Game 2:  16 + 24  = 40  = L
Game 3:  15 + 23  = 38  = L
Game 4:  18 + 34  = 52  = W
Game 5:  27 + 35  = 62  = W

Are we noticing a trend…..?

It’s really simple guys, the first column is CJ’s points that game, the second column is Dame’s points that game, and the third column is their combined points.

Each time one of them scores close to 35 points, and combined they score close to 55, they win.
Each they don’t do both of those things, they lose.

Let’s take a second look with everything labeled:

               CJ     Dame     Both   Outcome
Game 1:  37  +   21      = 58     = W
Game 2:  16  +   24      = 40     = L
Game 3:  15  +   23      = 38     = L
Game 4:  18  +   34      = 52     = W

Game 5:  27  +   35      = 62     = W

My prediction : They will continue to win whenever the 35/55 rule is reached, and will continue to lose every game it’s not.
Now this isn’t an exact science, if Henderson comes back and puts up big numbers or Aminu gets hot and puts in 25+ one game (allowing CJ to take a night off), then those nights the rule won’t be reached and the Blazers might get the Win. I hope they do.
However, I truly think around 85% of games this year (70 games) will fall under the 35/55 rule, and it will become the easiest predictor of success for the Blazers this season.

This is also why I believe Lillard has a punchers chance of the Points Per Game title.
He will need to average close to 28 ppg if this team is going to win any where close to 30 games.
Take a gander at the box scores every night and do the math in your head…you’ll start to see I’m right. I’ll post another update to this rule every 20 games or so just to show the progress.

Alex Knapp is a Portlander living in Brooklyn, New York for the past 7 years.
A filmmaker and actor currently working in HR to pay the bills, Alex is an avid NBA basketball fan who likely has an opinion on every team and every player, seriously – try him. 

First Impressions: This Week’s Good Ass Game Viewing Guide

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If there were ever a year to get introduced to NBA League Pass, this is the year to do it. There are so many good players to watch on so many teams right now, and so little time. I don’t have internet at my apartment yet (we only get paid once a month in my school district), and the only time I can catch games is either at the bar, at work when I’m working late, or at the local Starbucks on their Wi-Fi. 17 more days of ducking and dodging, creeping and crawling, before I can start curling up in bed and falling asleep to west coast games.

The great thing about having that pass is that I can watch games retroactively. I’ve watched so many games retroactively that I no feel like less of a fan, and more like a university student doing homework. I can’t believe people get paid to just sit in dark rooms and watch film all day. There is an NBA Hardwoods Classic feature that lets you go back and watch classic games on there, but the best feature of all is the Condensed game; where you can watch what amounts to an extended highlights clip. This is the only way I can get through a Clippers or Rockets game, because their games take an extra hour because of all the whistles and flops.

A couple of weeks before the season started, a friend cautiously suggested that the Kings could make a run for that 8th seed in the West. I thought it was ludicrous because of the crazy front office situation, but I’ve watched at least a little of every Kings game so far, and they look good. Part of that has to do with Rajon Rondo. Anyone who has dated someone right out of a serious long term relationship, can understand that the Mavericks just ran into a buzzsaw. Here’s a guy whose formative NBA years were spent with one team–a team that won an NBA championship.

It wasn’t the best of endings, and before he even had a chance to process his feelings, he in another relationship with another team. This team thinks its found its point guard of the future, but Rondo I’m sure is looking at the roster thinking “I just left an old ass squad that is too slow to run with me, and I’m now I’m about to commit the remaining years of my prime to the same kind of team.”

Now Rondo is with an athletic team with the right mix of veterans and up and coming stars. That roster is loaded with talent, and is better than those Nuggets teams that George Karl was coaching with Carmelo. I slept on the Kings, but I’m sure taking them seriously now after watching their first 3 games of the season. They will be a hard team to blowout.

A few things crossed my mind during this week:

  • If there were an “NBA Face Time” team for guys whose play makes you want to punch them in the face, the Clippers would be well represented. It’d be like that one year where the entire starting five for the Pistons almost made the All-Star Team.
  • I should have studied the Milwaukee Bucks point guard situation more closely before I predicted they would be in Eastern Conference Finals. I’ve never been a fan of Jerryd Bayless (and not just because he’s light skinned). I guess if anyone is going to get the best out of that backcourt, it will be Jason Kidd. I do really like their uniforms though–they look pretty crispy.
  • New Orleans can’t afford to have too slow of a start out West. Their defense has not looked good in the first few games. After giving up 39 in the first quarter in their first game against Golden State, they gave up 40 to the Trailblazers (My boy C.J. had 22 of them in a 37 point effort). I feel like I have been saying this every year since 2008, but the West has only gotten better.
  • The Teen Wolves have been a fascinating story this year. Their season has an extra melancholic milieu to it with the passing of Flip Saunders. If Ricky Rubio can finally stay healthy, I think he can be the Spanish version of Tony Parker. I think Andrew Wiggins will be an All NBA defender within the next 3 years, and Karl Anthony Towns is my front runner for Rookie of the Year. What I really like about this roster is that they have KG, Tayshaun Prince, and Andre Miller in the locker room as player-coaches. This teams reminds me of the ’09 OKC squad that was right on the cusp of being in the playoffs. We’ll see what happens, but they may be a few off-season moves away from really giving teams some headaches next year.

Let’s get to these games:

“Tap that Vein” Tuesday

Atlanta-Miami (meh) Remember that condensed version mode? That’s how I’ll be watching this game.

Memphis-Sacramento Unfortunately our boy Boogie is on day-to-day status with an Achilles strain. The scrappy factor just went down a few notches because of that injury. Don’t rush back Boogie. WE NEED YOU THIS SEASON!!!!

Wednesday

Golden State-Los Angeles Clippers (GOOD ASS GAME OF THE WEEK)

Cancel. All. Your. Plans. This. Evening.

Thursday

OKC-Chicago Two rookie coaches from the college ranks facing each other for the first time. I like the depth of the Bulls this year. I watched them play Orlando the other night, and I couldn’t help but wonder how relaxed the atmosphere must have been at training camp this year. I don’t agree with the method, but a coaching change had to happen up in the Windy City. Thibs is a grinder, and that roster didn’t need that. Let’s talk about that backcourt for a minute. Jimmy Butler may be the best two way guard west of Lebron James, and Derrick Rose may be the perfect sidekick to Mr. Buckets (Yeah I said it).

Speaking of coaching changes, I realized last night that Billy D. may be the best coach that either Westbrook or Durant have ever had. That kinda makes me sad.

Friday

Houston-Sacramento Did you ever think that the Kings would be making the Good Ass Games list twice in a week?

Saturday

Minnesota-Chicago This will be a good gauge for the Teen Wolves. I’ll prolly be watching this one from a booth at Starbucks….grading papers or some shit to make me feel productive.

New Orleans-Dallas One of these two teams might miss the playoffs. For some reason this reminds me of the time I told my cousins that whoever won a fight between them could get next on the X-Box. Of course, I immediately felt bad afterwards and tried to play it off as a test of their character. By then it was too late, because one of them was crumpled into a ball after receiving a drop kick in the chest from his young brother. Needless to say neither of them were allowed to play the video games that day. #NONSEQUITUR 

Golden State-Sacramento 

This is gonna be an old fashioned ass whupping, but it’ll be way better than watching the snuff film that the will be the Clippers-Rockets game.

Sunday

Phoenix-Oklahoma City This game may get up into the 120’s. Running and Gunning. Gunning and Running.

Portland-Detroit if you really wanna tap that vein or avoid NFL (Is it the playoffs yet????).

Monday This will be the best day of the week for watching hoops.

Grizzlies-Clippers, Detroit-Golden State will be interesting (at this point I have to tune into every Dubs game just on principle). Ditto to the Spurs-Kings, and I must admit that I’m curious about that Hawks-Teen Wolves matchup.

Alright. Time to bounce before I burn up all of my planning period.

Peace.

BM

#thisagoodassgame

@clickpicka79

bobbymickey@gmail.com

Fullsass.com

THE JUMP OFF

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Its been a busy week for ya boi Bmick: Went to Austin to record a podcast with my Craig on fullsass.com, threw up a couple of blog posts (big ups to my boys Jordan and Alex for blessin’ the game), and last night worked my first private gig as a standup comic (also did my first clean set ever–who knew I had it in me?).

Out of all that activity, the most important thing I did was get that NBA League Pass. Its a game changer no doubt. Now I’m ready for “Tip-off Tuesday” So let’s get it:

TUESDAY

Detroit-Atlanta

Cleveland-Chicago

New Orleans-Golden State

Three good ass games that night. I’m curious how my boy Stanley Johnson plays. I was so hype on Justice Winslow this season that I forgot all about Stanley Johnson being on the Pistons. Detroit has interesting squad. If they were playing out West they’d be trash, but they benefit greatly from being out east. Later on in the season, I will tell you to avoid this game. But its “TIP OFF TUESDAY DAWG!!!!” We ain’t had no basketball in months. You gotta get it in!

Unless you napping, or peeping game 1 of the World Series, you should at least watch the second half of this game. Don’t get too up or down on either team for Cleveland-Chicago game. Media gonna be overreacting the next day no matter who wins. ESPN will have some bullshit narrative to run into the ground, as Bill Plaschke and other talking heads talk about early warning signs for the losing team. GUYS!! GUYS!! GUYS!!! Calm the fuck down. It’s only game 1 of an 82 season.

You best believe I’ll be up late  watching that Golden State-New Orleans game. Coach Gentry getting his ring will be a nice thing to witness for the Pelicans players, but minus Anthony Davis, they really don’t have anything. That is how good “Lil Brow Wow” is. He’s my MVP pick for the year.

Wednesday

Spurs-Thunder (Good Ass Game of the Week) 

I was supposed to work my second job this night, but I can already feel this developing cough coming on. [COUGH COUGH WINK WINK ELBOW NUDGE]

Dallas-Phoenix

Battle for the eighth seed begins.

Cleveland-Memphis

I’m not saying Cleveland is going to punk out, but this going to be a physical game on the 2nd of back-to-backs for the Lebrons. Go ahead and get that ice bath ready fellas. You’re going to need it. Speaking of physical:

Clippers-Kings 

Will be a game chock full of testosterone. If I were a groupie trying to get a meal ticket, this game would be circled on my calendar. There’s some young entrepreneurs holed now in some Sacramento hotel right now, poking holes in condoms and vacuum sealing the packaging.

Minnesota-Los Angeles

This game will be full of cool highlights, but will also have loads of stupid turnovers. This may as well be a Rookies vs. Sophomores game with KG and Kobe as the head coaches. I’ll fight off sleep just long enough to watch the first half. I like to leave the betting to Alex Knapp, but I’ll say that there will be at least 3 insane dunks that makes Sportscenter from this one.

“Tap that Vein Thursday”

You’ll have plenty of opportunities to watch the Pacers play, so unless you really need to see them unveil the

Hickory High uniforms, use the Memphis-Indiana game to be productive.

Side note: Am I the only one who thinks Memphis would be better off playing in the Eastern Conference? They would be beastin’ if they were over there (and they probably should be, they are no longer from Vancouver–also, how many Grizzlies are really in Tennessee?). If they were in the east they’d easily be a top 3 contender.

Dallas-Los Angeles Clippers

I don’t know about this one either. Use Thursday night to build up cache with your loved one. Its early in the season, but every little bit counts. Unless you and your wife are hardcore Mavs fans, and you want to brainwash your infant into being a Mavs fan too, I’d say do something else. Its only the first week. This matchup will mean a lot more as the season moves along.

Friday

Its going to be a busy night for the Mickster. The World Series will have moved to what is currently my favorite American city (Queens representin’), I’ll be showing my face at a Halloween party that night (dressed as you guessed it, an NBA ref), and there are a ton of games.

Houston-Golden State and Miami-Cleveland will be the main attractions, but with NBA League PASS, I can go home and watch the Portland-Phoenix, Lakers-Kings, and Bulls-Pistons games after the fact. #GAMECHANGER

Saturday

Its Halloween. Don’t bother. Golden State-New Orleans play again for the 2nd night in one week, and on the 2nd night of a back-to-back.In fact, everybody plays back  to back on Halloween. Do yourself a favor and go get liquored up and make a bad decision or two (nothing that you can’t videotape or that will get you thrown in jail).

Sunday (First of tha month)

Can you think of a better way to nurse a hangover than to watch the Spurs beat the Celtics?

Houston-Miami won’t be a bad watch either, and you could do worse things than tune in to Milwaukee-Toronto.

Monday

Oklahoma City-Houston

Runner-up to the Good Ass Game of the Week.

Memphis-Golden State

“YUP!!!!”

~E-40

Portland-Minnesota and Suns-Clippers 

are worth checking out during timeouts and commercials, but honestly the highlights will be better than the games themselves. No disrespect to the fan base of either franchises, but you know what it is.

Big Ups of the Week to:

Jerry Colangelo USA basketball committee for finally doing what is right. Gregg Popovich has done as much for the game of basketball as anyone not named James Naismith. This is a win for everyone involved, but most of all this is a win for the game of basketball. I’m getting choked up just writing about this. Big ups!

So that’s it. The NBA season starts on Tuesday, and I couldn’t be happier. Basketball season is finally here. GOOD NEWS. GOOD NEEEEWWWWWWWWHHHHHHOOOOOOSSSSSSS.

Shout out to the Mets and the Royals for what will be a classic World Series. I think the Royals will take it in 7. I’ll be happy for either fan base no matter who wins. Although,I’ll just be more happier Mets fans. Kansas City is in Missouri after all. And we all know how I feel about that state.

Be cool.

Bobby Mickey

@clickpicka79

#thisagoodassgame

fullsass.com

bobbymickey@gmail.com

Guest Post By Jordan Paladino: Fuck Kevin Durant

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[Editor’s Note: Although I don’t agree with ANY of the assertions posted below, I did find the piece to be funny and well written. It’s also the perfect counterpoint to today’s earlier post on RUN-OKC.] 

Kevin Durant is a six-time All Star, five time All-NBA First Teamer, Rookie of the Year in 2008, and NBA MVP in 2014. He also has the honor of being my least favorite player in the NBA.

Our star crossed hate stems from a place of honest and sincere love. Growing up in Portland, OR (Go Blazers, I guess), I remember being one of two kids in my high school that has hoping our home team Trail Blazers would draft Kevin Durant over Greg Oden (shoutout to David Skolnik, being on Team Durant with me).

As it became more and more clear that the Blazers would be drafting Greg Oden, the more I, a noted contrarian, doubled down on the Durant love. I would tell my classmates that Durant would be twice the player Oden was within two years of the draft.

Greg Oden famously missed more games than he played in Portland, and the rest was history on his end. When Kevin Durant was a lowly Seattle SuperSonic (R.I.P.) he was likable. He could light up the Clippers for 40 one night and torch the 15-67 Miami Heat on a back to back. The SuperSonics sucked in 2008, but Durant was fun to watch, even if no one was paying attention.

In the offseason of 2008, something changed. I remember it pretty clearly too. People were getting over their love of Kobe, LeBron was too popular, and Bill Simmons declared Durant to be his favorite player in the league. Durant started to become the hip and in vogue player to declare your favorite when pressed by inquiring and basketball loving minds.

I let my love of Durant dwindle as the populace started taking notice. By the time 2010-2011 rolled around and Durant was named to his first All-Star game, won his first scoring title, and would be the FIBA World Championship MVP if not for the NBA player who casual fans never appreciated as much as they should (for no real reason other than people suck), decided he was tired of his home team and decided to link up with the greatest Toronto Raptor of all time, and a former Finals MVP. I of course am speaking of LeBron James.

Yes, my hatred of Durant stems from my love of LeBron. Look, I admit it. I love LeBron, and now that a lot of NBA fans hate LeBron for doing something that we all would do (look for championships when we already had more money than we’d ever need), I loved LeBron even more. The select group of “smart” NBA fans (aka the ones who didn’t care that LeBron left Cleveland) took umbrage with Derrick “No Knees” Rose winning the 2011 MVP over the clearly superior James.

King James did not make it easy on himself that year though. “The Decision” was poorly planned, his desire to be the bad guy in front of booing fans, and his ever-growing headband all made him look like the kind of guy who didn’t really understand what he was doing to his public image, which he clearly cared very deeply about.

Once the 2011 playoffs kicked off, LeBron went to a level of play as an individual and as a teammate that I’d not seen since Michael Jordan. King James averaged (rounding up) 26 points, 8 rebounds, and 7 assists per game in a 4-1 trouncing of the Chicago Bulls (perennial underachievers since the departure of Jordan).

Rose scored less, shot worse, and turned the ball over more than LeBron, for those keeping score at home. Miami was ready for the Mavericks in the Finals, and should have won in no more than 6 games.

But LeBron lost his first trip to the Finals with the Heat in one of the most bizarre and un-starlike performances I’ve seen in my years of watching basketball. Dwyane Wade was Miami’s best player, by a mile, and LeBron played almost as poorly as Derrick Rose (yeah, I don’t like Derrick Rose at all) in the Conference Finals the round before. I was sad. LeBron’s stock had never been lower, and Durant’s had never been higher. Something had to come to a head.

The 2011-2012 NBA season wasn’t of great note, other than the fact that LeBron won the MVP, Durant lead Oklahoma City past the, at the time, best team I’d ever seen San Antonio Spurs, and Derrick Rose blew out his knee in the first playoff game he played in that postseason. Finally, I had what I wanted. I had my guy playing against my least favorite guy.

LeBron wiped the floor with Durant (who cried when they lost) and Russell Westbrook was the best player on OKC. I couldn’t have been happier. The 2012-2013 season came and went, with LeBron winning another MVP and another NBA Championship, and Durant being boring and uncool.

I loved LeBron as much as any NBA player I ever have and hated Durant as much as any professional athlete I have ever hated (except for athletes who beat women or commit murders). Durant started to buy in to his “I’m the second best, and i’m tired of it, bruh!” narrative.

The more that Durant lived life in the spotlight the more I started to hate him. He had the lamest coach in the NBA (Scott Brooks), the coolest teammate in the NBA (Russell Westbrook), and still had acne. Durant was caught using homophobic slurs, cheering on battle rappers, and beefing with the Based God (Lil B).

Surely this was enough to get people to start hating Durant, right? Wrong! He could do no wrong! It wasn’t his fault he played for a bad coach, it wasn’t his fault that Russ shot too much, it wasn’t his fault their GM traded away James Harden. Why were excuses being made for Durant that weren’t being made for LeBron?

Why was LeBron clowned for losing his hair when Durant is balding himself? People like Durant because he doesn’t have tattoos (he does). They like him because he’s a nice young man (if using gay slurs and calling out the media makes you a nice young man… so be it).

People cried when Durant thanked his mother “You the real MVP” at his MVP press conference, and I’ll admit I thought it was very heartfelt, but then I remembered Kevin Durant has never won a Finals ring and beefed with Lil B.

Now when people ask me my favorite players in the NBA I answer before the question is out of their mouth. LeBron. Second favorite? Russ. Who do I think will be the MVP of the 2015-2016 season? Harden. Coincidence? No.

“Fuck Kevin Durant” – Lil B

Jordan Paladino is a Portland comedian, rapper, and writer for the show “Who’s the Ross?” He is a staunch defender of all things Lebron James, Drake and Kanye West. He is also a KD hater. I try not to hold these things against him.

Finallly!!!!!!

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For all intents and purposes, the playoffs started on Wednesday when Oklahoma City needed a win over the Teen Wolves, and a loss by New Orleans to sneak into the playoffs. For as much hype (and deservedly so) as the Russell Westbrook show was generating, the Thunder were still losing–despite Westbrook’s Herculean numbers during this past month (He was named the Western Conference Player of the month for his efforts). He was getting 54 points and the team was still putting up L’s.

I’m actually happy that the Pellies got in this year(thanks to this shot of course). I just couldn’t bear the thought of watching OKC in the playoffs without my boy KD.

For all those people who are sad about not getting to watch Russ in the playoffs, imagine an NBA where all of the playoff teams get to borrow one player from each lottery bound team for the first round in exchange for their first round pick. It’d be like the waiver wire in order of worst team seeding. How crazy would that be? just a drunken thought I had late one night.

Speaking of playoff seeding, what about that crock of shit brewing out in the Eastern Conference? Cleveland’s Bitch asses would be a 7th seed in the West. With Thabo Sefelosha’s leg injury affecting what will be Atlanta’s perimeter defense, the Cavs have a relatively easier path to the NBA Finals. It’s crap. This is like the winner of the NIT tournament getting to play the winner of the Final Four for the National championship. It’s bollocks.

With the playoff series being a best of 7, this column becomes almost obsolete this time of year. I’ll cut it short and give you the clicks to pick for the first round.

This Round’s Good Ass Series of Good ASS Games:

Houston vs. Dallas

The I-45 beatdown. Houston has Harden (probably the Leagues’ MVP–though I agree with J.R. Smith that Lebron should probably win every year) and they finally got D-12 healthy, but Dallas has the 2nd best coach in the NBA. I’m going to say the Mavericks take this in 7 games.

Portland vs. Memphis

Both teams are pretty banged up right now. I think this will be a series of close games–albeit ulgy ones. I’ll probably watch every game this series, but only in the 4th quarter, unless I get some kind of Good Ass Game alert telling me to tune in for an early edition of “Illard Time.”

Grizzlebees in 6 games.

New Orleans vs. Golden State

This might be the quickest ending of the series, but I firmly believe that every game will be hotly contested, except for that last home game in Oakland, that will just get out of hand. It will be the most entertaining series north of Clippers-Spurs–but we’ll get to that later.

Golden State in five games.

Los Angeles vs. San Antonio [Good Ass Games of the week]

People are talking about the mine field that the Spurs have ahead of them just because they did not get the 2nd seed. It is as if they haven’t seen the pitfalls that await every team in the second round. the only team San Antonio should have been worried about facing in the first round was Memphis–who will beat teams up even if they don’t beat them. Otherwise its evenly matched. No one has an easy path to finals, no matter where they are seeded.

Besides, I think the Clippers are vastly ovverated. J.J. Redick is having the best season of his career, and the big three for LAC is formidable, but who is going to come off the bench for them besides Jamal Crawford?

I’ve got the Spurs in 6, and it may not even that close. I think every game will be competitive though. This kind of reminds me of that series back in the day when Spurs played against Chris Paul when he was a Hornet. I don’t know why. It just does.

“Tap that Vein” Series

Bucks vs. Bulls

I know my boy Mikey will be watching his C’s play, but if I’m going to spend any of my free time watching an Eastern Conference game, it will probably be this Bulls-Bucks series. It’s kind of like when you are walking down the street and you see two homeless people arguing in an alley. You should probably be doing something better with your life, but curiosity got the best of you for a moment. Then the reality of the ugliness becomes too much to bear, and you remember that list of unfulfilled goals you still have remaining. Fuck the Eastern Conference Playoffs.

Buster of the Week Award goes to:

Aaron Hernandez. Mr. Husky himself got life in prison with no chance of parole for the murder of Odin Lloyd.
He was accused of some other filthy shit, but wasn’t on trial for those other grizzly acts. The dude pissed away millions of dollars on some bullshit. If you ask me, all they had to do was pull out the tape of his touchdown celebrations to convince me that he did it.

Look at it. It is almost as if he is snitching on himself. And they say Richard Sherman is a thug. For the record, Ray Lewis was convicted of obstruction of justice, not MURDER. There is a difference, as Aaron Hernandez can attest to.

Big Ups of the Week goes to:

Anthony Davis and the New Orleans Pelicans for giving the nation of taste of what is in store for the next few years. Someday this may be Lil Brow Wow’s league.

Enjoy the first round. See you in a week or two.

Peace.

BM
@clickpicka79
#thisagoodassgame

Resting Up for the Playoffs

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From now until the 18th of April, every game will be a “tap that vein” game. Most of the playoff berths have been set, and now we are just waiting on the seedings to play out. I will be taking a vacation from the blog until the playoff seedings are set, then we can break down which series will be worth tuning into.

Western Conference Standings as of 4/6/15
1. Warriors

2. Rockets

3. Grizzlies

4. Blazers

5. Clippers

6. Spurs

7. Mavericks

8. Thunder

On the bubble: Pelicans, and Suns. Pelicans are only .5 games back of the 8th spot, while the Suns are barely hovering at .500.

Easter Conference Standings as of 4/6/15

1. Hawks

2. Cavs

3. Bulls

4. Raptors

5. Bullets errr Wizards

6. Bucks

7. Nets

8. Celtics

On the bubble:
Pacers, Heat, Hornets

the 6, 7, 8, seeds are all under .500…

There are 7 games left in the year. For the Bucks, Nets, Celtics, Heat, Hornets,and Pacers, every game will be a playoff game. The same goes for the Thunder and Pelicans. You want that playoff intensity, then watch any of the aforementioned teams. But like I said before, is it worth not being able to cancel date night in April because you wanted to see if the Celtics were going to squeeze into the 8th seed?

Well maybe it will be.

Good Ass Games for the rest of the season:

Monday

Duke vs. Wisconsin….Calipari’s no coaching ass got exposed again……people should start looking at 2012 as the aberration and not the norm. How many NBA prospects has he pushed out, and how many chips does he have? Exactly. Tonight’s championship game may be the “Good Ass Game of the Week”.

Tuesday
Golden State vs. new Orleans
San Antonio vs. OkC

Wed
Houston-san Antonio

Thursday
Portland-Golden State

Friday
Golden State-San Antonio

Saturday
Clippers-Grizzlebees

Sunday

Pelicans-Rockets

Monday-13th

OKC-Blazers
Clippers-Suns

Tuesday
N/A

Wednesday 15th

New Orleans-Spurs

Burnout

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The REAL season starts in 3 weeks,on April 18th. If there is something time-sensitive that needs to be done, do it before then. Once the playoffs start, game over. That coupled with the approaching end of the school semester willtake up every little bit of my time for the next two months.

I’ve watched very little NBA over the past two weeks, partially due to exhaustion, but also because life has intervened. I’m gonna pull a Popovich and monitor my minutes over the next 3 weeks so that I’m fresh for the playoffs.

Last night’s Notre Dame and Kentucky game was easily the best college game that I watched this year. To be a Good Ass Game, does not only mean a competitive. A Good Ass Game is one that is played at a high level. Notre dame-Kentucky was a Good Ass Mutha#$%in’ Game. When you consider what was at stake, (trip to Final Four/Kentucky’s win streak) the intensity alone, made it worth watching. That might be the closest Kentucky will come to losing this year.

The Final Four should be a good one. For all the missed jump shots, bad fundamentals, and ugly officiating, watching the NCAA is still slightly better than standing on the gym sidelines waiting for next in pickup games.

Good Ass Games of the Week

Today

Memphis-San Antonio

Never fails to live up to the hype. Grizz haven’t been looking too hot of late, but don’t sleep on them. Just like you wouldn’t underestimate a real Grizzly Bear–unless its that indie rock band…those guys are soft as Charmin tissue paper.

Oklahoma City- Phoenix

It is Russell Westbrook’s team now in OKC.

Monday

The “tap that vein” game of the week goes to Phoenix-Portland.

Tuesday

Clippers-Warriors on that late night tip. I’m into it.

Wednesday

Clippers-Phoenix Phoenix gets to play LAC on a back-to-back.

Dallas-Oklahoma City

What looked like a grab bag of various Western Conference finalists, looks now to be only 3 realistic teams, Warriors, Grizzlies, and the Spurs. I’m not buying the hype on Houston. Dallas doesn’t look all that good anymore. OKC and Portland get a mulligan due to crippling injuries to key players. I doubt I’ll even watch this game this week.

Thursday

Phoenix-Golden State
Houston-Dallas

Sigh. Just wake me up when the playoffs start. Now we are just watching games to see who gets seeded where. This last month is basically the conference tournaments without all the hype and pageantry.

Friday

Oklahoma City-Memphis

Get your Ya-Ya’s out while you still can. Build as much relationship equity as you can because you never know when a game 7 will fall on a date night. Don’t waste it on a meaningless game in April.

Saturday

Golden-State-Dallas
New Orleans-Phoenix

OR

The NCAA Final Four.

I myself will be watching the college boys, but hey its your life. Do what you want.

Tip-off for the Michigan State-Louisville has already happened. I’m gonna lie on my bed and fall asleep to dudes bricking jump shots.

Peace

BM

@clickpicka79
bobbymickey@gmail.com
#thisagoodassgame